Emigration etc.

Emigration/Immigration is like the army. You start off as a private x and if you happen to get into the right circumstances, if you have balls to take advantage of them and if Ms Success becomes your best friend, you can even advance to becoming a general. Even the president of Lithuania Mr Valdas Adamkus started off in the USA as a blue collar worker in a Chicago factory of car parts.

Once you emigrate life starts evolving in certain phases:

* Workaholism
* Wanking
* Musing (in other words meditations on either to come back home or find a "real" job)
* Rebellion (when you knock on every door possible desperate to get that "real" job)
* Desperation (when you realize nobody is going to welcome you with hands wide open)
* Stubborness (when you persist and finally decide to go to study despite the fact you think you already know everything, but you realize this is to become your major trump card in a competitive labour market)
* etc,
* etc,
* etc,
until a possible "happy end".

Some of us get stuck in the phase of workaholism, others progress in wanking, only some of us reach the critical point of rebellion and only a handful make it through the phase of desperation. Obviously if nappies get in your way life takes a U turn. And the phase of musing is destined to repeat now and again.

There is a relatively new website in Lithuania that calls itself Lithuanian journalists' website (despite the fact it omits the largest online news magazine in the country in its links). A recent debate on the website was brought to my attention by a good virtual friend of mine who is also the author of one of the best Lithuanian blogs (and I am really looking forward to an English one - damn our ancient language).

Anyway. The point of the debate was whether journalists who have emigrated and possibly are picking strawberries in UK farms should still be called journalists or not.

You see, in my country journalists are playing gods since people stopped believing in the state, government or Parliament. The most recent Eurobarometer polls reflect that 79 percent of Lithuanians don't trust the Parliament (as opposed to the average of 43 percent in the EU), 67 percent don't trust the Government (as opposed to the average of 53 in the EU). On the other hand the level of trust in the mass media is way larger than that of the average EU citizen.

As a result a tag "journalist" is highly influential. Many get the taste of domination and manipulation with public opinion while still in their 20s. Some are not 30 yet but they've already tried pretty much every single kind of media in the country, they've worked in all major newspapers, TV stations and radio (the joys of young democracy - diversity, or perhaps as the saying goes we're jacks of all trades yet masters of none). And in a country where the main language is a language spoken by a mere 3 mln people this can become an issue if you aspire to be more than a jack of all trades. Thus some pack their suitcases and leave. Of course if we were an English speaking country (like UK, the USA or Ireland) hordes of us would be flooding the BBC, the Guardian, Sky News and the likes. But alas, it is not easy to become a journalist in a foreign country. What's left is strawberry fields, wine shops and white table cloths. And once you start in that stage it is up to you if you want to move up the ladder. But that is the advantage of Western countries - an opportunity to start everything all over again.

Perhaps I am young and dumb, but I admire the so called "American dream" stories. After all even the father of American press journalism Joseph Pulitzer came to the USA without much English and spend many hours in the library in front of the dictionary before revolutionising The New York World.

My ramshackle bike. Goddam it.



Last night noticed that the back wheel is crooked and that meant no Dublin City Cycle for me. And it is not worth repairing... :(

Yes, I know it is not Tour de France and, yes, I realize Dublin streets are not the best for cycling (compared to Amsterdam or Copenhagen). Have you seen the poor eco-friendly bike-taxis stuck in the traffic? My dear friends, if you want to go eco-friendly, Dublin desperately needs less cars and more cycle paths.

In a rather recent discussion in "Metro" newspaper's Letters to the Editor section somebody had pointed out this issue. At the moment a cycle path in Dublin most of the time is a 2 feet wide lane painted in red on the bus lane. And those double-decker busses are freaking scary...



Anyway. I guess Dublin City Cycle (a joint initiative by the Dublin Docklands Development Authority, Dublin City Council and the Dublin Transportation Office) aims to encourage more people to swap their cars for bikes.



If my observation is correct, there were about 300 participants in the DCC. Lots of families, a few foreigners, no obese people, plenty of smiling faces and (surprise!) - sunshine!

All photos of Dublin City Cycle © Lina Zigelyte

Good bye, arrivederci, adios amigos, ou revoir, auf wiedersehen, пока, uz redzesanos, slán leat, ha det bra...

The saga of nearly a hundred Roma who had been camping besides one of the busiest Irish motorways for over two months ended on Wednesday evening, as the plane took off from Dublin airport.

There were no riots, their farewell seemed to be quieter than a Saturday night in Temple Bar (the heart of Dublin's night life). Once Roma arrive in Romania, they will be transported by bus to their respective home villages.

"If you are going to work, welcome," wrote Anne Byrne in a letter to the Irish Independent. "If you are here to benefit from a better welfare system than you have in your own country, then go back and work on improving your own country, don't bleed ours dry."

One might start questioning Irish tolerance, but this story for me is an example of diplomacy - a mere fact of the problem solved peacefully should become an example for any country who is facing similar issues.

When this story broke many were saying that the problem of Roma integration should be solved on the EU level. I can't but agree with that and in a way I am happy I am not the one in the position to implement changes. I just have a funny feeling if this doesn't happen, Roundabout Roma saga might start all over again.

Poland has introduced cheaper visas to attract workers from neighbouring countries in an attempt to replace Poles emigrating to Western Europe. Nationals of Russia, Belarus and Ukraine will be able to work in Poland for up to three months, twice a year. According to BBC, Poland's economy is enjoying a boom, but is suffering labour shortages since more than a million Poles have left for EU states, notably the UK and Ireland.

The shortages are so acute, the authorities have even considered using soldiers and prisoners to help build the infrastructure.

Personally I don't believe a million has emigrated, the figure must be at least a few times bigger - have a look around Dublin. Polish ads in the newspapers, in the bus stops, zapraszamy (welcome in Polish) on the hairdressers, etc. Anyway. Anybody intrested in 233 euro minimum salary please apply.

By the way, my country has been considering a similar measure, yet apart from even smaller minimum salary - 202 euro (minus flat 27 percent income tax, which should be decreased to 24 as of 1st of Janurary 2008), foreigners might have to face xenophobia.

A comment on the largest news web site in Lithuania DELFI on a story about how difficult Lithuanian language might turn out to be for foreigners:

"Asians have started to flood our country yet, bombs in the market are about to start exploding".

The comments are not reviewed a priori and the website is greatly cooperative with institutions such as Attorney General and police in helping to disclose authors of such comments, yet anonymity is like a fig tree leaf that helps to spit out all kinds of intolerant thoughts and conceal your identity at the same time. And comments like the one above unfortunately are quite common on the stories about immigration. Freedom of speach unveils impotency of mind to adjust to the world evolving.

Finally.

"Human crisis or welfare tourism". The front page of The Irish Times supplement Weekend Review on the 21st of July. Alison Healy's story about 32 Roma adults and 22 children encamped on M50 motorway roundabout near Dublin airport.



It is Ireland's busiest road and Roma have been living here since early May. It took nearly three months to break Irish patience and now the story is all over the place: The Irish Times, BBC, The Observer, etc.

Like a refugee camp

According to The Observer, conditions at the camp have deteriorated over the past few days. The scene resembles the slums of an Asian city rather than 21st-century Ireland.

The air around the two camps reeks of human excreta and rotting food; children as young as two play in mud and filth; grass verges to either side of the families' makeshift shelters are covered in rubbish and colonies of tiny flies attach themselves to anything that moves. The tents they sleep in have been flooded during the recent heavy rains. A number of parents have even put down discarded posters from the last general election; one child could be seen last Thursday having a nap on top of a picture of Taoiseach Bertie Ahern.

Last Thursday two children from the camps were taken to Temple Street Hospital in central Dublin following an outbreak of severe vomiting and diarrhoea. Non-governmental organisations campaigning for the Roma to stay in the state have claimed that there is a danger of disease breaking out.


Photo by J P. Ireland Photoline

In A. Healy's words, the conditions resemble a refugee camp, but when the people are asked why they don't take up a Government offer to be flown home, the answer is always the same. "I no want to go back to Romania. I die from the hunger in Romania. Here I have somewhere where I can sleep", says one of these Roma people in English which far exceeds many Lithuanians' and Poles' who have been flooding Ireland since 2004 - after being accepted to the EU.

Finito to welfare tourism

Unlike Lithuanians or citizens of any of 10 countries who joined the EU in 2004 Romanians and Bulgarians are restricted from working in Ireland unless they have a work visa or are self-employed, although they do have freedom of movement within the EU. They are not entitled to social welfare payments, child benefits or emergency accommodation.

It seems that Irish government has learned from its previous mistakes when in the years before my country had joined the EU hundreds of my fellow-citizens surged towards the generous embrace of the Celtic Tiger. Some of them on the claims that they've been blackmailed by gypsies were seeking asylum here (and I happened to witness such an interview in the Department of Justice as a translator). If their wives gave birth to a child prior the decision thanks to the newborn baby they would become residents of Ireland and thus get the right to work. The days of "welfare tourism" are way behind now.

Romanians are not among the supporters

Pavee Point - a group supporting Irish Travellers' in Ireland - seems to be have become the main voice in the fight for Government's intervention in the "Roundabout Roma" situation. "They don't need Hilton Hotel, they just want one chance to work", The Irish Times quotes George Dancea, director of the Roma support Group, which was set up by Pavee Point Traveller's Centre. Pavee Point is also calling on the Government to provide emergency accommodation for the group.

This call is supported by 20 non-governmental organizations, yet strangely (?) enough the Romanian Community of Ireland is not among them. Quite the contrary. The groups' chairman Vasile Ross points out that if the Government gives in to Pavee Point's pressure, more Roma will come. And some figures say that there might be about 2 mln of them in Romania alone. "This is how Roma work. They will try to gain access. Give them a finger and they will take both hands", says Vasile Ross in The Irish Times.

If you aspire for a job, you'll get one

Tolerance and bloodsucking slothfulness are two totally different things. Let me remind you that before my country had joined the EU hundreds and quite possibly thousands of Lithuanians arrived to Ireland seeking to work illegally. For cash, yet half the amount of the minimum wage, without paying taxes, blue-collar workers sweating in unbearable conditions in mushroom processing factories in the Northern Ireland, students with Master's degrees working as kitchen porters in order to save money for Ph.D studies, husband's leaving their wives back home and doing nightshifts while meditating how they'll make love again in the newly refurbished house, etc.

I've always believed if somebody wants to work and is prepared to work hard, one will find the job. Let me ask you then why those gypsies who beg on Grafton Street in the heart of Dublin city don't? Why they make their 8-year-old children beg (and I've seen this)?


Flights, benefits and possibly free housing offered... in Romania

A spokesman for the group on the roundabout confirmed to the BBC they had been offered free flights back to Romania by the Irish Government, but none of them wanted to return. They were also promised by the Romanian government that they would have health and education benefits and would be considered for free housing.

Romanian embassy officials in Dublin say they are embarrassed by the activities of the gypsies, many of whom are begging on the streets of Dublin. The embassy, according to The Irish Times, even doubts "Roundabout Roma" claims that their living conditions in Romania were unbearable. According to the embassy sources, the families had sold their houses to fund their trip to Ireland.

15 days left

On the 21st of July, at around 5.30 am, Garda National Immigration Bureau (GNBI) officers served immigration papers on 86 Roma people camping in Ballymun. The group have 15 days to make representations to Minister for Justice Brian Lenihan as to why he should not make a removal order, in which case they would be transported back to Romania.

New Irish Government faces a very tough challenge now. Ireland previously has made decisions which earned this country the name of a Celtic Tiger. The Gordian Knot on M50 is a test that questions Tiger's courage and determination. And the situation is being observed by 2 mln. Roma in Romania and the whole EU, who previously had doubts about accepting Romania to the club and I am convinced Roma people were one of the main reasons for these reservations. But let me remind just once again - tolerance and bloodsucking slothfulness are two totally different things.

If they don't like it here why don't they go back?

It was a very good point. The conversation took place in the USA, I think it was 2002. We were talking about America with Americans. Everybody had agreed on the imperfections and flaws of the country, i.e. dumb politicians, citizens' naivety, horrifying criminal situation. Yet despite constant grumbles the USA for many still is THE promised land - the country of unlimited opportunities and acknowledgment. In other words - you've had expectations, you've made it to get the visa (which for the citizens of my country, daring to cross the threshold of the embassy of the USA, is something in between Darwin's fight for survival and a sacrifice of one's privacy*), therefore please have respect for a country that has welcomed you, do the best you can and perhaps then it will indeed turn out to become your Eldorado.

I guess the same attitude could be applied in any country, be it New Zealand, Tanzania or Ireland. We all cross the borders with expectations - greater or smaller. And when the reality doesn't meet them we start to bitch. The cost of living, the amount junk food sold (and consumed), nasty weather, unpredictable public transport, filthy streets, knackers, junkies, beggars, narrow-minded press, boring music on the radio, tracksuits, spoiled kids, obese girls, binge drinking blokes... I could go on and on...

Some of us get trapped in this fussy list and forget the question posed in the beginning. If you nearly hate this place why don't you go back to Poland, Latvia, Slovak Republic or Lithuania? Oh... I see... The pay is ten times less and despite being the citizens of the EU many locals still behave as if they were cavemen?

Fair enough. Then ask yourself if your country would be as welcoming as Ireland (or UK, or Sweden or any other EU country that has its borders wide open for accession countries' labour force). Would it embrace and open its borders to thousands of foreigners: black, Chinese, Asian, gypsies, homosexuals, transsexuals, former criminals escaping their past, inexperienced students, unemployed elders, abrupt countrymen, losers trying to break through once again and illiterate cheep labour force unable to utter a single word in your language. The list could go on and on.

I can assure you my country is not ready for a tsunami like this. I remind myself about it now and again and that makes me stop my moans. After all perfect countries don't exist. As the saying goes, far away hills are always blue. Yet once you approach them you start to notice that even tigers have flaws. Therefore although it might be hard we should accept imperfections, try to live with them and learn to become more flexible. Then it is easier to notice that there are still plenty of good things around. And you might live happier ever after...


* the latter meaning that you have to submit heaps of documents stating your income and financial obligations, moreover you must participate in an interview that might strip you of any privacy and all of the above - for the cause of eliminating any possibilities you might chance to stay in the USA after the expiry of your visa

"Why do Irish people drink? Because sober people write whiny letters while they're on holidays. And skinny people never get their round in. And Hans Christian Andersen wrote rubbish stories. And Carlsberg tastes like donkey wee. And mind the saloon doors don't smack you on your skinny little bottom as you leave."

Al C O'Holic

Despite the fact that Dublin's daily "Metro" (distributed for free) encourages readers to include their full name in the emails sent to the editor, the author of the above email is anonymous.

The outrage is an answer to a Danish guy Christian who after arriving to Ireland after 10 years came to conclusion that the only difference he notices is the fact that there are more men with beer bellies and women with spare tires. This slapping of a Celtic tiger did not stay unnoticed.

"One must be blind not to notice the level of binge drinking in this
country: girls crawling from pubs on their knees and men taking a leak
wherever possible. Have you ever tried to walk in Temple Bar on a
Sunday morning? The place stinks of every excrement possible."

This was part of my response to Al C O'Holic which I had emailed to "Metro". In case he/she doesn't know that every fifth person in this country is obese (and these are the figures of 2000). Or in case he/she is not aware of the fact that Ireland has the highest level in EU in terms of binge drinking. It is not shamrocks or leprechauns in Ireland anymore. It is broken pint glasses on Grafton street and the smell of puke and piss in the city centre 24/7. Celtic tiger is getting wasted. Slainte.

By the way, for the likes of Al C O'Holic I highly suggest visiting Denmark. For pure educational purpose.

Ok. You have your suitcase packed. You've just had an appointment with a dentist (this will keep you going for half a year until you come back). You're sporting a new pair of shiny glasses and a new haircut. Passport and ticket in your pocket.

"Now what?", they ask you before you get on the plane. "What will you do for a living over there?"

It all kicks off with a CV.

Your name.

Skip the letters that don't belong to the local alphabet. Abbreviate your last name. Modify the first one. Become another Paddy, John or Amy. Who cares about the name anyway?

Work experience.

It must be relevant to the position you are applying for. Don't expect anything posh. Miracles don't happen in a day. Otherwise half of the more than average journalists you know from home would be applying for jobs in BBC. PR people would be knocking on the doors of those who partake in making something like this and finance analysts would be doing anything to get in HSBC or the likes.

Perhaps the best ones might even turn out to be lucky. Yet few even try - many choose rather to become local celebrities than international mediocrities. Thus we have 30-year-old journalists who act like gods, love to pose for local celebrity photographers and drive new BMWs. The result - our TV stations tend to focus barely on cheap reality TV shows (they sell) and our reporters can't afford to research for a story for a month (actually, it is the editors and the bookkeepers who can't afford it). Journalists get wasted with MPs, editors go to Majorca with those who advertise on the front page and reality TV shows produce journalists. On the other hand who cares about good quality media? Prime time is given to crime investigations anyway.

Back to the CV.

Since you're not applying for a job in RTE or "Irish Independent" and only want to get those alluring 8.65/hour voila you state your relevant experience. Your summer in the USA and the tables you've waited over there, places you used to go to for a pint back home (nobody examines the facts in your CV anyway) and a few months of experience of making latte in some Dublin cafe.

If you are a bloke you go into construction - they make more than the minimum wage (so ***ing sexist) or into IT if you have any idea about PCs (***ing computer geeks).

You might include the fact you've been working as a news editor for the largeset news portal in the country (a sort of Lithuanian BBC). But it was not in Ireland so who should care?

There's little point to mention a couple of months spent in the national radio as a reporter either. It was not RTE anyway. Besides you're not applying for a reporter's position (although you might consider it later).

Education

Don't bother with subjects taken, just mention having received the degree. In any case nobody knows your university.

Hobbies and other details worth or not mentioning

Make sure your contact phone number is on the very top of the page, bright and clear.

God forbid don't put your photo on the CV (an especially common trend among Eastern Europeans).

For Christ's sake skip "traveling" or "taking pictures" - it sounds so dull. Worth mentioning yoga.

If by the time you hand in the CV you can have a basic conversation with the manager of x cafe in English, it is magic! Don't give up if nobody has called you, print lots of copies and knock on many doors. It is nearly impossible to fail in this economic boom.

After a couple of years you might even chance to apply for a more demanding job - in order for the local celebrities you have left back home not to call you a failure. Perhaps you could even turn out to become an international mediocrity after all...

If above these lines you see an ad of sexy Baltic girls this is the reason why I've been hesitant about launching AdSense.

This also backs my opinion that women so far have been the best export in Lithuania. No wonder sometimes I prefer not to reveal the country of my origin.

On the other hand if you like 90x60x90 blonds go on - click on the links! You might find the love your life, I might earn some cash. We'll see if AdSense turns out to be a leprechaun after all.

A soon-to-be-deported Israeli vice girl - whose forthcoming novel ‘Confessions of a Celtic Tiger Call Girl’ will be published anonymously by Opportunity Press spills the beans on her many high-profile Irish clients.

As confessed to Lorcan Roche of "Mongrel":

***

What does it matter to you, my name? You have all called me so many names in your accents, and whining voices. Horrible, Irish names (Seoige! Ni Bheolain!), Jewish ones too (Sharon!). You called me names as studio sweat and make-up and liquid guilt ran down your candy-striped arses, arses you paid me to whip and insert objects into. Like a torn-up contract for a better Ireland, while you pulled down your Lycra cycling shorts, halfway, and pumped the air.

You called me ‘Glenda’. You made me arch one eyebrow, like Dr. Spock. You made me scrub your pink skin raw, then rub Wintergreen ointment on your member while you babbled about ‘controlled passion’. You made me dress in an English rugby jersey, then you beat me with a copy of LIFE magazine. When you came, without warning, you screamed ‘Stringer! Stringer!’... What does this mean? Should I have tied you with cheap string, the kind my mother wrapped around my battered suitcase the day I left my homeland?

You came to me in the morning, sweating from the studio lights at RTÉ and you made me eat linguine and clams, three bowls, and you wanted me to confess in minute detail what other RTÉ presenters had requested, and it thrilled you (especially what Derek had asked for) and your greedy eyes grew wide and you wanted to see me with olive oil drizzling on my chin, like you often have on TV, except of course you have several chins. My God, I will never forget your lips, so big, and rubbery. They moved this way, and that, on my body, and your tongue was visible, always, like a ferret trying to escape from a ball of silly putty.

You came to me from RTÉ in the afternoon, and you crawled on the floor below me and looked up with real fear in your eyes, and you moaned ‘Grainne, Grainne’ and you asked me to dress in leather and to humiliate you, and to speak with a sexy lisp. Humiliating a grown man, even a redhead, and speaking in a sexy lisp at the same time is hard. But, after watching the show I mastered it. It’s about attitude, heels, and self-belief.

You came straight from the law library, wearing a pinstripe suit. You made me jump up and down for hours to Michael Flatley’s music, wearing a blonde wig and white stilettos. You invited me to a party in Killiney, but I had been there before - to Vico Road, where I was forced to dress in red and have deviant sex with a nanny and a dwarf. Vico Road. Where a famous film director paid me to beat him while he sat in a wheelchair, where a famous singer – dressed in PVC and big stupid glasses – paid me to chase him round the room with a can of fly-killer.

You told me your name was Eamon. You sniffed cocaine off my nipples and you said after that I was a good whore, but not a great whore, that the best whores worked in TV, then you scribbled all over the walls of my apartment, screaming about a homosexual farmer called Giles.

You said your name was George. You seemed kind, but then you took too much Viagra and you held me captive for days while you beat off and talked about yourself, endlessly. You said your name was Michael. I stroked your bald head. I let you play with my stormtrooper costumes. You cried. You opened up to me. But then I saw the guilt in your eyes – and knew it was you who would ring immigration.

***
Was trying to google the book, but couldn't find it. Hopefully will manage to get hold of it.

Once upon a time somewhere in the deep suburbia of Ukraine lived baba. Baba was producing homemade vodka, widely also known as moonshine. Then a tourist from the United States of America came along. Thus a video on You Tube appeared. Somebody in "Decanter" stumbled across it and that's how I discovered the recipe for Ukrainian vodka:

3 buckets of water
3 to 5 kilos of sugar (depending on the taste expected)
0.5 kilo of yeast

A couple of old pots, a pipe, old pair of knickers, rags, stove and coals also needed. Couldn't figure out the rest. Perhaps you might.



On the 19th of June 2007 the European Parliament has voted down a bid by MEPs from Poland, Finland, the Baltic states, Sweden and Denmark to tighten the legal definition of vodka. The so-called "vodka belt" countries wanted to restrict the term to spirits made only from potatoes or grain. But a majority of MEPs voted in favour of a looser definition. According to BBC, vodka made from anything other than potatoes or grain will have to say so on the label yet it can keep the name "vodka" on it.

For those who come from countries mentioned above this was basically a battle for copyright. Just like Champagne has to be made in Champagne and Cognac - in the region of Cognac. Otherwise pleae be kind to use the name sparkling wine or brandy.

Despite loosing this battle Lithuania has to face another one now and it is a question of whether the politicians will have the guts needed to confront conservatives (by this I don't mean just political movement). I am talking about the legalization of homemade vodka which would include legal measures to control the quality of the production, making sure it is made in a more civilized way than "baba's pot". Just like whisk(e)y - once illegally mass-produced on such a scale that in 1820s as many as 14,000 illicit stills were being confiscated every year today it is one of the best-known Scottish exports. And boy, some of them are delicious...

Lobbyists who are pushing the legalization of homemade vodka in Lithuania claim this could become a huge attraction to foreigners, especially those interested in countryside tourism. The levels of production would be controlled, so would be the quality. Some believe this could help to decrease the rate of alcoholism in the country. Besides, the likes of baba would probably have to improve the sanitation.

On the other hand, what could be better after a day of swimming in the lake, fishing and horse riding than a dram of top quality homemade vodka with some Lithuanian charcuterie, rye bread and pickles? Old people say if it's well made you would drink a bottle and wake up the following morning fresh as a daisy. Forget "Smirnoff" or "Huzzar".

They became famous after a show in "Pizdetz" (the most accurate translation of this Russian expression would be "cunt kaput") - an after-hours club on Ridge Street in New York. The members of the band are from Ukraine, Sachalin, Israel, Moscow and California. I heard them for the first time when a colleague of mine had brought their CD to work and I was overjoyed - for the first time ever I could understand the lyrics better than he (English) did. From the background of thundering drums, banging fire buckets, violins and accordions stories emerged - uttered with a distinctive Slavic accent and interwoven with Russian jokes and exclamations. Thus my encounter with "Gogol Bordello" began.

The front man of the group (or phenomenon if you like), its founder and and soul Eugene Hütz (Євгени Худз) as "Guardian" says has called his band "an orchestra of fucking immigrants, jamming in A minor".Their lyrics are obscene, they give out to everyone - homo sovieticus, West, Europe, pop culture, the system, immigration officers. E. Hütz looks like a an outlaw himself - franticly spinning on the stage half naked and with a distinctive mustache. Their music is everything but easy-listening and E. Hütz roars with a creaking voice every single song as if it was a confession born in the darkest corner of the soul in the middle of the night while sitting besides a campfire and cracking a couple of bottles of vodka. Their music, the so called "gypsy punk", has won admirers all over the United States and recently thousands of music fans were madly jumping with their wellies in the mud of Glastonbury to its rythm.




To get the lyrics

"aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiget down here as a cheap labor force but i beat the system everywhere i goes"

is tough and I have my reservations - I doubt that because of them thousands are going crazy - it is the image of "Gogol Bordello" that puts a spell on you first. Yet behind it remarkably accurate and intense words are concealed - emerging from personal experiences - firstly those of E. Hütz, who had left Ukraine with his parents following the Chernobyl nuclear accident, and those of other members of the band who are now partying together on the other side of the Atlantic after achieving their "American dream" .

There you go critics of emigration - another example of immigrants not only wiping Westerners' asses as you like to stress so often, but kicking them too.

PS
Apparently Madona is known to be a huge fan of "Gogol Bordello", she even invited the guys to join her on stage on 07 07 07 for "Live Earth" gig in London, where she was stamping to their fiddle (or so a similar Russian saying goes).

The People. June 17th.

A two page story by Alan Hart "So 'Nia and Yet So Where?" about Lithuania. Great pictures yet a misspelled name of our capital Vilnius on the map. I hope Vilnuis is a proof reading mistake.

"After showing my friends the holiday photos they're queueing up to go to Lithuania," writes A. Hart.

It seems the journalist has impressed his mates with the choice of the country and activities. Finally the British come to Lithuania for something different than a stag party!

In a small country tiny signs of acknowledgement turn into moments of triumph. For instance the fact that Ozzy Osbourne wears Lithuanian Basketball Team's T-shirt with his name on it during a gig in Vilnius.



Photo by R.Neverbickas

Ozzy is not the only celebrity who happened to come home from Lithuania with a new T-Shirt. Princess Máxima of the Netherlands got one and so did the United States Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice.



Photo by ELTA

We realize that these VIPs won't bother wearing them once they get back, yet naively hope that perhaps BBC or CNN have noticed...

Dr. Lecter and sharp-toothed Lithuanians

Lithuania is smaller than the Republic of Ireland, bigger than the Netherlands and the population is about the same as in the city of Madrid. No wonder we are so sensitive to whatever foreigners state about us or our country - be it Mel Gibson infamously calling Lithuanians "sharp-toothed" and "armed with baseball bats" or Jonathan Franzen, depicting Lithuania in his "Corrections" as hell where there is a shortage of coals and electricity and the people have to eat horses in order to stay alive. Actually before watching "Hostel" I was saying my prayers and hoping it is not about Lithuania (yes, it was Slovak Republic!). Although Dr. Lecter turned out to be from my country...

One can hate Mr Thomas Harris, but I have to admit that we did enter history as a savage country. In 2009 we will be celebrating the Millennium since the historical mention of Lithuania and the story is frightening:

"In 1009 saint Brunon <...>, an archbishop and a monk,<...> on the border of Russia and Lithuania was knocked down by non-Christian pagans and on the 23rd of February with 18 fellow travelers departed to heaven." (German Quedlinburg Annals a)

“We are a nation that was formed out of barbarians, nomads and peasants. And our mixed genes are the reason for Lithuanian nostalgia and individualism”, - a few years ago stated Gintaras Beresnevicius, a Vilnius University professor at the Ethnology and Folklore Department, in “Creation of the Empire. The Blueprint for Lithuanian Ideology”. Ironically, he passed away last year after being taken from a party in a police car. Investigation has proved that the injuries later discovered on his body had nothing to do with policemen. Although one witness claimed to have seen them putting Mr Beresnevicius into boot used for transporting animals... Mr Beresnevicius was considered as one of the most prominent historians of religions specializing in Baltic mythology.

Ignorant Westerners or indifferent politicians?

Have you got electricity? Is the war over yet? Do you speak Russian there? These and similar questions myself, my friends and many other Lithuanians who live abroad have to face on a daily basis. Yes, we do have electricity. As a matter of fact Ignalina Nuclear Power Plant produces way too much of it. The war? You probably mixed up Baltics with Balkans. And yes, quite a few people still speak Russian, especially in the capital, although younger kids are fluent in English and could hardly understand any Russian. Yet the main language is Lithuanian - one of the oldest in Europe, similar only to Latvian and we managed to preserve it despite being on the crossroads of civilizations.

Some Lithuanians accuse foreigners of ignorance when they ask questions like the ones above. When my dad was a teenager he could name the capitals of all African countries. For decades the only way people of the Eastern Block could learn about the world was by looking at the maps. We didn't have "National Geographic" or "Discovery". Perhaps this is one of the reasons why people from former Soviet Union have great knowledge of geography. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I buy "National Geographic" - I still enjoy looking at the maps and reading about the world.

Although I do agree that sometimes Westerners' indifference to the rest of the world is the case, in my opinion, the main reason why Lithuania is not so well known in the world or is more known from a rather unpleasant and negative point of view (corruption, suicides, alcoholism, crime) is because the country is not being branded in a proper way.

Christian Caryl's story in "Newsweek" last month should be read by everybody who struggles to come up with the best idea for branding Lithuania yet it stresses that first of all local people shape the identity of a country.

"In the end it's the Italian people who brand Italy, and they do it so damn well," says Simon Anholt, founder of the National Brands Index, in the story. "And the countries that haven't quite succeeded at that are the countries that don't quite love themselves."

Love you, love you not

Lithuanians' relationship with Lithuania is a love-and-hate story.

We become ecstatic to the point of madness when we get gold in the Olympics (I recall three so far - correct me if I am wrong). Yet the best of our sportsmen and sportswomen have to go abroad to train since there are no proper facilities in Lithuania.

When a Lithuanian documentary film director Arunas Matelis receives Directors’ Guild of America award in the documentary category we proudly remind to the world and ourselves that he's from the same country as us yet quietly whisper to the neighbor "Who is that Matelis?" (request for the Ministry of Culture - could Lithuania's movie industry be supported at least as much as Kaunas Zoo?)

Lithuania is famous for classical music performers - soprano Violeta Urmana, conductor Saulius Sondeckis - although the latter after tensions in Lithuanian music arena decided to shift his career and rather perform in Germany, Russia or Austria.

Our politicians proudly point out that a Lithuanian is in charge of the gargantuan budget of the European Union (Finance and budget commissioner Ms Dalia Grybauskaite) yet dismiss her when she's constantly criticizing Lithuania's finance policy.

We rave to be presented on BBC or CNN as a country of tranquil beauty yet after two weeks of showing our 30 second long ad during prime time on BBC a few Lithuanian politicians expressed a view that it was wrong to choose BBC without a public competition. Darlings, if there is a chance to be broadcasted on BBC, forget competitions! Or perhaps, as somebody pointed, our politicians would have been more delighted if the ad was broadcasted on Russian TV? Forget the West, let's go back East!

Lack of good policies

"The best way for a country to generate a good image is not by conducting clever ad campaigns, but by implementing good policies," writes Christian Caryl in "Newsweek". "The most important thing is to tell the truth," stresses Mr Anholt in the story mentioned above.

So what is the truth about Lithuania and Lithuanians? How different is it from Latvia, Slovenia or Poland?

Recent survey conducted by Vytautas Magnum University and Institute for Social Studies has proved that Lithuanians firstly consider themselves as jealous, hardworking and hospitable. Yet more than a third of respondents pointed the fact that we are reserved.

My landlord (an old Irishman) keeps stressing that we are hardworking. Jealousy, I believe, we will get rid of once the salaries increase. Yet the main challenge is to stop being reserved since there are things in Lithuania of which the world should hear.

"It is only the material things that matter in Lithuania - construction, roads," a while ago emphasized documentary director Arunas Matelis. Despite winning the Directors’ Guild of America award he's still waiting for state funds to subtitle the movie. Good policies, huh?

Last year I publicly criticized the Embassy of Lithuania in Ireland for ignorance and lack of initiative in representing Lithuania in the Emerald Isle. Despite the fact that there might be over 100 000 Lithuanians in Ireland cultural events that would try to reach out non-Lithuanian audiences are scarce. We did not participate in the largest celebration of cultures in Ireland Dun Laoghaire Festival of World Cultures last year (there was only a few Lithuanians with ethnic costumes). Unfortunately the embassy did nothing this year as well therefore myself and a few friends are trying to do something about it. Yet it is a shame that an institution who is responsible for representing our culture abroad (and this should be one of the priorities, especially now that there are so many of us here) is passive.

When I was in school studies of foreign relations was considered as one of the most attractive subjects one could study. Quite a few of us were dreaming of working as ambassadors. Is it because once you become one you can lay back in a rocking chair, smoke a cigar and drink mohitos realizing that Lithuania is far away and you don't give a **** about your job? At the end of the day, why should Ozzy Osbourne, Condoleeza Rice, Dr Lecter or Mel Gibson do PR for Lithuania?

On the other hand there are some good signs - more video clips like the one on BBC and this one about Vilnius. Yet foreign broadcasters can't substitute the indifference of Lithuanian clerks. Last year the government approved the strategy of Lithuania's image, it's implementation was supposed to kick off this year, yet nothing has been done so far. Any VIPs to volunteer for another T-shirt?

Post Scriptum

By the way, this is Lithuania. Media is about manipulation, yet this video is close to reality. Welcome to Lithuania or actually Vilnius - which is my home city.

Forget Catholicism - basketball is the official religion in Lithuania. Besides, we were the last in Europe to be baptized - barely in 1387. Yet one could be totally ignorant of basketball and one will be forgiven. The worst heresy of nowadays is to be an emigrant.

A beautiful yet painful journey towards new beginning

On the 23rd of August 1989, less than three months before the fall of the Berlin Wall, the people of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia - three tiny Baltic countries with a total population of about 8 million - joined their hands to form an over 600 kilometer long human chain across the three Baltic states.

About 2 million people joined their hands in this completely peaceful protest. Demonstrators linked hands for 15 minutes at 7 p.m. local time.


Baltic Way. Photo by Z. Kazėnas

This demonstration was organized to draw the world's attention to the common historical fate which these three countries suffered. It marked the 50th anniversary of August 23, 1939 when Soviet Union and Germany in the secret protocol of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact divided spheres of interest in Eastern Europe which led to the occupation of these three countries. The human chain symbolized the Baltic peoples' solidarity in their struggle for more autonomy and eventual independence from the Soviet Union.

Lithuania - a country of which majority of the people living on the other side of the Berlin Wall have never heard before - was the first Soviet republic to proclaim its renewed independence on March 11, 1990. It took nearly a year for a Western country to recognize Lithuanian independence and the first to send a message of acknowledgment was Island - on the 4th of February, 1991. A month before that the world heard about a Singing Revolution and 14 non-armed protesters who died in Vilnius defending the Vilnius Television Tower and the Parliament from Soviet troops and tanks.

The people were united as never before.

A new foe is facing the country

16 years have passed since those events. With fireworks we proudly joined the prestigious club called the European Union. Our economy is improving, there's more and more building sites rising in the capital Vilnius yet for the past 5 years or so another foe - well-known to the countries like Ireland, Norway, Sweden and Italy - has been threatening the future of the country. Since 1990, around 404,000 people have emigrated, driving the population down from its level of 3.6 million people 16 years ago to its present level of 3.2 million. The number of Lithuanians emigrating has more than doubled since the country joined the EU.

Welcome to the joys of freedom of movement, - I say. Loosers, you were not able to adapt in the changing situation, - say those who have remained in Lithuania.

The people are divided as never before.

Life is improving yet people are moving

Every second Lithuanian has a relative or a friend who have emigrated after the restoration of the independence. According to the survey which was conducted in the beginning of this year for Lithuanian weekly "Veidas", another 13 percent of the population claim that they will be leaving the country shortly. Nearly half of them state that if the salaries were increasing more rapidly the emigration might be stopped. The second most important reason which drives Lithuanians to leave their home country is the attitude of employers and officials towards them.

Minimum monthly salary in Lithuania is 174 Euro a month, average (before taxes, there's a flat 27 percent income tax) - 503 Euro a month. During the past year though average salary has increased by 21 percent. As they say in one Russian propaganda movie - life is getting better, life is getting happier.

Propaganda and accusations

Speaking of propaganda, in the beginning of this year a campaign called "Stay in Lithuania" was launched. It aims to encourage young people to seek better living in Lithuania, not abroad. Ironically, the campaign was not initiated by Lithuanians, but by a Canadian and a Danish. Perhaps there's not too many locals who believe the message? Lithuanian celebrities, businessmen and politicians keep repeating the message "stay", yet more than a third of emigrants are 20-29 years old. Yet these are the official figures, but there those who have never officially stated of going to UK or Ireland for a couple of years. Like myself for instance. In fact I don't even know why should I, since I don't even know how long will I be away for.

This is were I face the impossibility of defining who is an emigrant nowadays. My Oxford American Dictionary defines emigrant as a person who leaves his or her own country in order to settle permanently in another. I don't even know were I want to settle yet. Although probably somewhere sunnier and warmer than Ireland, but with white Christmas, please.

I've been away for two years now. I don't know when will I come back, but I am certain I will. I do not despise Lithuania and now and again I send some money home. Like thousands of other Lithuanians who are working abroad. It's been estimated that last year alone over 300 million Euro where transfered from personal foreign accounts into Lithuanian banks - which would be about 1.2 percent of our GDP. Yet those who are away are blamed for wasting Lithuania's budget - especially the resources that have been invested into our education.

Thus the accusations start to flow: we are not patriotic, we don't care about Lithuania's future or about the future of our children who may not learn to speak Lithuanian, we live or get married to the people of other races than white, etc. As if those who remain were chained to their jobs, friends or lovers like Prometheus to a cliff. A toast to them, a gold medal and a statue!

At the end of the day humans are selfish and pragmatic. That's the reason we try to get better education, better jobs, better living conditions. And if somebody has found this in Ireland or Greenland why should one be despised? At the end of the day - wasn't it this freedom that we were yearning for?

Perhaps it is time to encourage to come back rather than to stay and preferably not only by propaganda means? And remember the days when we were like one fist working for one cause - we could achieve much more this way.


PS
I have been trying to look up for some information on whether other countries who ever had to face emigration had so much hostility towards those who have emigrated. So far I've only come across an attitude sported by the Polish president Mr. Lech Kaczyński calling Polish emigrants in UK and Ireland “born losers” or “feckless”. But he shouldn't be an inspiration!

Deliana had a pale skin and incredibly blond hair. She used to wear a rasta hat and whenever asked she used to say she's from Jamaica. With a slight Eastern European accent. Sometimes she was lucky and even the toughest sceptics would start believing her. In fact she was Bulgarian and had won a green card a while ago. She would assure if somebody was after an honest reply she would definitely tell, but wasn't going to open her heart to everybody. She didn't want to be considered as another girl from Eastern Europe.

I perfectly understand Deliana and whoever has lived abroad should too. Especially girls from Eastern Europe.

A while ago I was strolling the streets of a Jewish quarter in Seville (Spain) with two girls - one from Norway and another from Poland. After getting lost we stopped a passer-by.

Where are you from? - he asked.

Dominica barely mentioned she's from Poland and thus the praises for Eastern Europe and beauties from Czech Republic began to flow. The middle-aged passer-by turned to the Norwegian girl and asked if she's from Poland too. Hilda explained she's Norwegian.

Oh, you're a different story, - said he and I could see disappointment in his face.

Once, after walking into a very dark cul-de-sac in Dublin I came across a sticker saying Eastern European girls looking for fun.

It's no secret that crowds of tourists come to Lithuania thinking it's enough to utter a word in English and the girls will melt like last winter's snow. When in West it is enough to mention the country of my origin and I hear a borat-like reply "Very nice". And somewhere in the back of my head I hear myself finishing his sentence "How much?"

It is true though, Lithuanian girls do tend to dissolve like a spoonful of sugar in a cup of tea without even asking what do those strangers do and what do they like in life - perhaps they are peasants from the most remote of English villages or boring young clerks working in a stuffy London City office and looking for fun and frolics. But look - the girls are already coiling lazily on the dance floor of one of those British pubs we have in Vilnius. There's free fizz flooding and the boys start whispering unheard secrets to them - the girls never got a chance to learn that kind of words in school. It's the body language that helps to communicate...

And one sees our local boys quietly sipping on their pints, but their beer is not smooth anymore, since all the girls care about are foreign boys - they buy the drinks and purchase three red roses from the girl who makes her living selling the flowers in nightclubs. The girl is happy, the lass - giddy and the English boy is stumbling over the words he's txting to the mates back home. Before getting into a cab he takes a leak in front of the Presidential Palace.

And so the story starts to spread about Lithuanian girls looking for fun. As if we would not suite for anything else.

But what should one do if she doesn't wear high-heels, uses lipstick rarely and rather wears pants than skirts? You can say you're from Norway, because you're a different story. Or from Jamaica. But it might be harder to convince...

Caricature byRytis Daukantas

The guy on the left:

- Excuse me gentlemen, do you know where are the builders?

The guys on the right:

- We are the builders, man!

I guess this is Rytis' view on the so called New Lithuanians who after working in the UK or Ireland for a couple of years have returned home. Or perhaps it depicts the efforts of the Lithuanian Labour Exchange to convince emigrants that they could be earning in Lithuania as much as in construction sites in London or Dulin. Either way I love it!

I came up with an idea to start a blog on emigration in English after I realized that some of the issues I try to talk about in my Lithuanian blog would not even be considered as issues in some Western countries. I.e.

* Emigrants - are they loosers who couldn't adapt in their home countries or people who dare to leave everything behind and make a leap of faith?

* Do emigrants owe anything to their home countries? Should I have to pay back for the education I've received in a public university, public healthcare or security guaranteed by our brand new army? And if so how?

* Finally how should one define emigration in a modern world. I don't come from a third world country, quite contrary - it's been known as a "Baltic tiger" and I am not trying to escape war, political situation or genocide. I have left Lithuania not because I can't live there. I have left my country because I believe I can live not only there. So who am I: an emigrant, a wandering soul or a citizen of the world? Besides, I don't even know where I want to settle and for how long...

According to the Lithuanian Department of Statistics as of 1990 over 400 000 people have emigrated from Lithuania and we have the highest rate of emigration per capita in European Union. Yet after joining the EU and plunging into the joys of freedom of movement one could only guess what are the official figures...

The media in Lithuania calls us emigrants although I still think that the vast majority of us will come back - sooner or later.

In this blog I will try to look at the stories hiding behind those figures. At the reasons and consequences. At the freedom of movement and attempts to deprive of it.

I hope my blog will give an insider view of the reality my country is facing now despite being that roaring tiger. And I hope it will reveal how does it feel to be an emigrant or simply a stranger away from home.

You are welcome to make any comments on my posts and to share your views. For any queries please contact me at lina[dot]zigelyte[at]gmail[dot]com.