Emigration etc.

I suppose I should toast this post #100, but I've toasted enough things yesterday in the wrap up session of the exhibition in NCAD Design Building where all the students of NCAD evening courses where exhibiting their magnum opuses. If you skip the fact that Photography and Digital Imaging course students where not in the brochure (we're either too good or that was our curator's final cock up) there's some interesting stuff there. Our's is the funkiest in my opinion. :) And there was Montana Sauvignon Blanc on the reception!



Emma Brereton's project on Ambassador, which will be turned into a city library.



My holgarama lightbox "A minute of positive time", my video "60 seconds and a minute. Almost. As time went by" and somebody's empty glasses. (the laptop won't be there as the college couldn't provide a projector)



A close up (ish) of my lightbox.

The exhibition is on until this Sunday. Please drop in!

That's it. Finito. Adieu. Tschüss. Slán agat (please correct me if my Irish is wrong).

Good bye Ireland! Hello Nederland!

Dear Lina, in response to your application for admission to Utrecht University we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Research MA programme Media Studies.

Found out last week. Thus the reason for failing to update this blog more frequently.

Few seem to understand the subject of my studies, when I say that I'm going to Utrecht to study media. Majority think I'm continuing my journalism studies, yet nothing to do with that (and that is the main reason I chose Utrecht)- the programme is very comprehensive and interdisciplinary, focusing on the cultural and historical construction of old and new media and their impact on citizenship and cultural identity (ancient theatre to cinema, interactive television to YouTube, multi-media dance performances to computer games).

After a few months of sorting out the application, preparing for TOEFL and translating my Bachelor's thesis I'm ÜBEREXCITED! Just a few of the courses I'll be taking:

State Of The Art In Media Studies
Technobodies In Cyberspace
Spatiality/Themporality In The (New) Media

Ranked as the 7th best university in Europe in Academic Ranking of World Universities (sandwiched betwen the universities of Paris and Copenhagen and as the 42nd best university in the world, Utrecht looks like a great place to study (yet THES - QS World University Rankings position it slightly lower - # 89 - still pretty good).

So I just need to sort out my finances for the next two years (they've promised assistance). Otherwise I'll start selling the remains of my wine rack, my cameras, my Mac and then myself.

I guess, the rest of my musings will be either hommages to Dublin and the Emerald Isle or oversaturated bitchings about the Orish, which I had in the cold storage up till now and was delaying to post because of the uncertainty about my future.

Utrecht - beautiful, isn't it?

As I've said in "You Tube", this is part of my project for NCAD course.

At first made with soundtrack (Sigur Ros "Sé Lest"), but then I thought the song is too good itself. So just play anything you like, if you feel it.

60 seconds and almost a minute. Time spotting.

"If I talk about time, it's because it doesn't exist. If I talk about a place, it's because it has disappeared. " (from Jean Luc Goddard's "Dans le noir du temps"). I guess it shouldn't be on You Tube.

What's new? Toefl failed to send exam results to the university where I'm applying for studies, even though I'd paid for it, will have to send the copy I got. I'm quite stressed, so I picked up a few new activities. Started to make videos and upload them on You Tube. They're in Lithuanian so far, but I promise to make something in English. My Lithuanian blog was nominated in the Lithuanian Blog Awards as the best blog in Society category. In the meantime I'm continuing my project for NCAD. This is part of a minute on O'Connell Bridge. Holgarama.

Toefl are a bunch of loosers. I hadn't received the posted scores so far (although they are supposed to arrive in 15 days after taking the exam, which I did on the 1st of March) and was beginning to seriously worry about my performance. Besides, I had terrible chest coughs, which sometimes lasted for a few hours at the time I was taking the exam - this would have been of little help during the speaking part. Thankfully, my coughing stopped, although after reading biology texts in the reading part, I started to feel like a completely illiterate idiot. I never liked or understood biology much - even in my language.

Yet my spontaneous decision to log on to my Toefl profile tonight and to see if the scores are available, was one of the best things to have happened recently.

114 points out of 120. I'm quite proud of myself. My nan said she was praying for my application for MA during the mass. The tutor from NCAD, who at first said I did not express enough critical thinking that is necessary for MA studies, wished me luck a few days ago in an email. Now, whether that will be enough for the university to consider me, remains a conundrum. Time flew by in February, when I was preparing my application papers and getting ready for the exam. It seems to have stopped. Till April...

I think I have a fetish for vintage gadgets. The other day, as I was passing "Oxfam" in Dundrum on the way to the bank, I couldn't believe when I saw it on the window display. On the very bottom shelf, besides jewellery. Looking so classy and almost new. All azure, with black keyboard. Not quite as vintage as the one in "Naked Lunch", but still - a typewriter. You don't come across them often nowadays. I needed one as a prop for a photoshoot. Well, the photoshoot became an excuse later on, at first I was just admiring the fact of it in the window and for only 20 Euro, even though I'm trying not to surround myself with too many things. And it was before Tom Hanks confessed his passion for them to Jonathan Ross.

Every time I was walking to the bank I was admiring the view of it on that Oxfam window. And then it was gone. That's when I realised I could use it as a prop, but farewell... it was no more. I went to a few other charity shops afterwards feeling like an dinosaur or an alien. Do you ever get typewriters? I was searching for time lost or remembering time lost. Like the other time, when I was doing a social documentary project for NCAD Course and photographing closed cinemas of Dublin. I think, I've calculated about 9, there are probably more.



Carlton on O'Connell Street. Rephotographed black and white handprint.



Stella in Rathmines. Rephotographed black and white handprint



Classic on Harold's Cross. Rephotographed black and white handprint

Last week I embarked on another mission, looking for 120 color slide film for my new Holga. The fact that I bought it for 35 Euro on ebay (shipping included), while the last time I saw them in "Urban Outfitters" they cost about 90 Euro is another story. The fact that apart from this funky shop nobody else seems to be selling them in Dublin, is another, yet even sadder story. Anyway. As some of you might know, a few years ago Agfa discontinued production of all their 120 films, thus the only way some manage to make shots like these is if they were stockpiling them in the attic previously. Therefore if you are looking for colour slide in Dublin, you are left with either Fuji or Kodak. After going to John Gunn, Camera Exchange and a few more decent camera shops in Dublin which seem to be resisting the evolution of photography into point-and-shoot-everybody-is-a-photographer-can-I-see-the-picture digitalisation, I had to sadly face the fact that getting such hazy bluish colours might not be possible while I am in Dublin. In John Gunn (by far the best film photography shop in Dublin with the most-knowledgeable staff) I was told Kodak slides are a bit OTT, while when I popped into a camera shop on Grafton street stupidly hoping that perhaps they might have a few slides secretly concealed on some God-forgotten shelf, I couldn't see anything film there - just memory sticks, basic point and shoot digital cameras and batteries. The fridge with slides was hidden in the staff room. Well, good things mostly are not sold on the high streets, aren't they? Film cameras are not in fashion anymore any way. Or are they?

You don't have to look too far. Go to flickr and enter 'film' or 'plastic camera' or go to my recent discovery Film is not dead, it just smells funny, or the largest pinhole gallery or Lomography... You get the idea. Many of the best film photography works are not even scanable, like these ones by my first (and best so far) photography teacher Jurgita Remeikyte. Some of photography works are not even recordable, like this one on BBC's Genius of Photography - watch minutes 4-6.

Of course, digital photography is cheaper, more accessible, easier and more 'sharable'. You just have to upload it to flickr and voila! Everybody is a photographer. You manipulate the pictures till they become sickly plastic and you hear 'wow'.

12 years ago Julian Stallabrass in his remarkable book "Gargantua. Manufactured Mass Culture" said that around 60 billion photographs are taken every year and with the arrival of domestic computer manipulation 'every sunset will be perfect'. There was much truth in his words, wasn't there? And that was before digital cameras cost a few hundred euros and almost all mobile phones had one integrated. Digital made photography a kind of a quickie. Point. Shoot. Upload. Print. In fact how many photographs are not even uploaded, just looked at on the back screen of our better or worse digital cameras.

At present, between three and five million photographs are uploaded to flickr.com every day. And then there is stock photography, blogs, etc... Recent cover story in "Monocle" convinced me that I'm not some nostalgic freak. Did you know that in Japan - the pioneer of digital photography - mainstream media oftentimes still uses film? And that one of the best photographers ever and one of my favourite ones - Hiroshi Sugimoto - it is being said, stockpiles rolls of film in a freezer. After some research and doubt I discovered that it is possible.

Of course, film per se doesn't attribute a photograph as a work of art. Just like digital does not make it less. It's just sad to see film disappearing so quickly. The first digital cameras for mass consumer were introduced less than 15 years ago and now almost everybody has one. We all have become photographers. When I took a picture of my 6-year-old nephew with my N65, he instantly said 'let me see the picture'. Now he knows his auntie is a bit of a freak, fiddling with plastic cameras and searching for what is no more in Dublin camera shops. Well, I got a slide film finally. Fujifilm Astia, Velvia and Provia are still quite widely available. Yet when cross-processed they can be a bit too indigo or too ruby. At least so far. Yet this is what I love about film, slide and cross-processing. No matter, what is the level of your control, it always comes a bit as a surprise. Although I still have digital (for quickies....) it is this bit of organic magic that makes me stick to film. And pay tributes to time lost. In the meantime - say cheese.



My first slide roll of Holga. Raheny. Dublin

All photos©Lina Zigelyte

If you apply for Master's degree studies, do you know which subject you want to focus on during those two years before you commence the studies? I suppose you should have a rough idea which subjects interest you most, but how about that meticulous vision? On the other hand, can a vision be meticulous? Visions usually are vague, unless you're John the Apostle.

PS Two main reasons folks apply for Master's studies in Lithuania are: conscription (applies to guys) and the possession of paper with MA of x scribbled on it. How about Ireland?

Here I am jumping from one step of the ladder of competence to the other. Preparations for TOEFL could be running smoother.

Firstly, I started to suspect myself of being dyslexic. I guess I'm joining the rest of the band - Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein and Picasso. Then I realized that I'm not concentrating - the bloody era of internet, when you surf between five windows, iTunes, gmail and manage to google at the same time. Moreover, because of spell checkers, kindly supplied with our PCs and laptops, I got used to making spelling mistakes. And finally - I DON'T LIKE AMERICAN PRONUNCIATION, which is one of the features of TOEFL!

Which stage I am at? I guess conscious incompetence, which makes me one step above the starting level and two behind the target. Another month to go. Just found a website saying "Learn English in 10 Days". Which reminds me a conversation between two students.

Do you speak Japanese?
No, when is the exam?

I went fishing today to Portobello canal. I caught a goldfish and when asked what three wishes I have, I told her the fulfillment of one would be enough - to add extra 3 hours to each day. "You idiot," she said, flapped her tail and off she went.

I know I am an idiot and it is possible I've taken up too much at the moment, but, hey, you only get to live once.

Writing for "Metro Eireann" is going well and I am really enjoying it, because finally I feel being in my shoes and the more I think about it the more I realize I should have tried to break into Irish media a bit earlier. If you don't risk you don't get to drink champagne - we have a saying in Lithuania. Now... not that I realize to have been wasting my time, but I'm just that kind of person - a perfectionist inclined to constantly ponder that things could have been done better. "Are you a journalist?" asked one of my tutors tonight when a guy I'm with in a course said he had seen my journalistic attempts. Possibly maybe. And then one Lithuanian newspaper in Ireland asked me to write for them now and again. It looks like my time invested in blogging seems to start paying off.

What else has been going on my block? Do you remember the coup of the palace we started planning in NCAD? Well.. we're getting there. It appears that I wasn't the only one unsatisfied with the quality of some classes and the dissatisfaction had occurred in the course last year also.

Oh, and I'm taking TOEFL on the 1st of March, because I need it in order to be able to apply for master's studies in the Netherlands. What if it doesn't work? Then I'll go fishing again. In Amsterdam canals this time.

Before posting this rant I sought advice from my sister, who is a fourth year full-time student in Trinity College, and picked my workmates' brains who previously were engaged in studies over here.

I asked my sister if she had encountered many freestyle lecturers over the years that she spent in college. Although her object of studies requires a more specific and systematic approach than mine (for those looking for some background information, currently I am studying photography and digital imaging in the National College of Art and Design), recently myself and a few other guys I am studying with got worried. We've paid about 1300 Euro each for a six-month course which takes place twice a week for about 3 hours each time. We're split into two groups and have three lecturers in total - one of them we are sharing and then each group has the main tutor whom the other group only gets to see rarely.

So. The lecturer that both groups are sharing is kick-ass. Tons of material, dozens of pictures, intensive and brain-teasing lectures, lots of feedback on the projects we are currently involved in, etc.

The guy who is the main tutor of the other group (despite my bewilderment about the fact that although he had been photographing for over 15 years, he never aimed to exhibit his work abroad) knows his stuff, is very expressive and was very helpful when we were working in the darkroom. But my group only gets to see him rarely.

Now my group's main tutor, as one of the girls I'm studying with said, is a hippy, which is great, yet when I was paying the money I wasn't expecting to spend half of those 3 hours listening about her trip to New York. Neither was I paying the money for her to constant cross-examinations of how we are doing with our projects. Not that I don't like them or don't accomplish them, but spending over an hour of those 3 hours (which in her case mostly turn into 2) on asking what's your project? how are you getting on? how's your research? ON EVERY SINGLE LECTURE OF HERS is ridiculous, because as we are just talking the same stuff all over again and again, she is just nodding her head or mentioning a few random names (which in my case were totally absurd and out of context - on which even the kick-ass lecturer had agreed). She comes unprepared every single time and I am not the only one who is starting to feel fed up with her impromptu lectures.

An artist, one might wonder? I don't even consider her as an artist at all.

My sister admitted of having a few lecturers like that, while one of my workmates said that two of his lecturers could hardly speak English and one of hem was lecturing about mechanical solids (the colleague I am talking about graduated in engineering).

As we were sipping our Christmas drinks with the guys I study with, quite a few of us mentioned dissatisfaction with the tutor I am talking about. And before I could say anything one of the girls said "We, Irish, tend not to rock the boat". If it wasn't for her, I would have continued thinking perhaps I am just nitpicking. After all, good tutors are rare. Yet my guess is that she has probably been lecturing like this always - without students' complaints or any notions of improving the quality of her classes.

Since I am not Irish and one of the better students should I rock the boat? And how?

Shoulda woulda coulda...

It looks like it could be kick ass.

Perhaps you have noticed already yet if not I will tell one thing, which in my opinion is one of the most quintessential features in a post Communist society. We think we are uber alles. Consequently you have over 220 shops that sell Lithuanian food in Ireland (although apart from bread, herring and a larger variety of cereal crop, i.e. buckwheat produce, which you can find in those shops, I think it is possible to live in Ireland quite happily). Consequently Eastern European women are getting their hair done while they are back home on holidays (they say Irish hairdressers are rubbish, although I think two main reasons would be either inability to communicate your expectations or higher costs in Eire). Consequently my Polish friend keeps complaining about Irish healthcare (and this might be one of those issues where I support her critique). Consequently Eastern European men, especially during the first days of arrival to Ireland, keep complaining how flabby and vain Irish girls are (I'd rather ask Polish and Lithuanian boyz to ponder about their ex-cons haircuts). With so much dissatisfaction one can only wonder how can they last in Ireland... And how can Irish put up with us.

I have a confession to make. Before applying for the Photography and Digital Imaging course at the NCAD I had my doubts. My main concern was that the course won't be good enough. I don't mean not as good as in Lithuania, because I have only been enrolled in one and that was more like having a cup of tea with good friends to be (yet it was freaking brilliant). I just thought that I'd seen so much crap in exhibitions, galleries and the media, it is hard to believe I might find something in depth in Ireland.

After tonight I have to say I might have hit the bull's eye. Susan Sontag's On Photography is on the must-read list and I am calm... One of the tutors assured me they won't be teaching us to make pretty pictures. And I am calm. The group is a fusion of graphic designers/architects/wedding photographers/media people. And I am calm. It feels f***ing great to be a student again.

Apologies for delay in updating the blog. Few amazing things happened in the meantime:

- I am starting a Photography and Digital Imaging Course at the Centre for Continuing Education in Art and Design in the National College of Art and Design. They've got my money and the birth certificate (which came as a big surprise for me - the passport is not not good! I was even tempted not to translate the certificate (which is in Lithuanian and Russian). A look at the certificate has reminded me that I was born in Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic. But if they need it...)

- "Guardian Abroad" has listed my blog in "Global diatribes and politics" category. It took about a month of waiting after applying, meanwhile I was trying to update my rantings regularly. I can take some time off now:) Joking. The pressure is high to remain in the category.

By the way, exactly 6 days ago my Lithuanian blog celebrated it's first birthday. A virtual friend of mine Aunty Sigita has compared blogger's mission to that of actor's described by Stanislavsky as public loneliness. As time goes by and more people discover my musings in cyberspace I have to admit I start to feel more public than lonely. Here's to my ego :) And here's to you who read and comment and keep the ego thriving!

Now back to to-do-list which was scribbled before I left for holidays in Lithuania or Lusitania as a young charming Irish fella working with me calls my home country. I can tick all segments and if I could choose two best they would be:

- Three days here:

Sand dunes in the Curronian Spit

and here


The Hill of Witches in Juodkrante, Curronian Spit

and here


More sand dunes in the Curronian Spit


- The Opening Concert of Lithuanian State Symphony Orchestra's Season. Violinist Liana Isakadze performed D. Shostakovich’s Violin Concerto No1. while piano virtuoso Konstantin Scherbakov (he's much hotter live than in his website) was my favorite of the night and played P. Tchaikovky’s Piano Concerto No1. Lots of fireworks (perhaps not as many as in Lang Lang's perfomance), as one should expect from Tchaikovky, but the dialogue between the pianist and the orchestra was magnificent. Whenever I hear a symphony orchestra playing, it always sends shivers down my spine. Although I would have preferred something different to Tchaikovky... My sister calls him a storm in a cup of tea. By the way, speaking of Lang Lang, he's coming to Dublin, yet alas for no particular reason I am unable to book tickets (5 months beforehand!) on National Concert Hall's website. Have emailed them about the problem. I know Lang Lang is quite "fireworky" and different to the likes of Andrius Zlabys whom by luck I managed to meet and hear while living in Philly (listen to the recordings he has on the website or watch him here if you want). No fireworks, I should say. Yet Andrius (who also comes from Lithuania) is not coming to Dublin, but Lang Lang is and after hearing him in the "Painted Veil" I loved the Chinese melodies he was performing.

Sorry for being carried away with the last passage...

Anyhow. I'm back from Lusitania and without two pennies to rub together (payday is in a week). After all Lithuania nowadays is not that different to Ireland - everybody talks about property and building sites are mushrooming everywhere. Although there are things my fellow citizens could learn from the Irish:

* Manners. When you shop in "Dunnes Stores" you say sorry if you bump into somebody. If you shop in Lithuanian supermarkets you say nothing, you bump again. And again. Until the person you're bumping into realizes he or she has to move. After he or she does you say nothing and carry on shopping. Similar manners in public transport (although it arrives on time unlike in Ireland and the timetables announce the time of the arrival to a particular stop rather than the time when the bus leaves the first stop).

* Customer service. I was surprised when after complaining that the wine I got served in a glass was corked the waitress replaced it. On the other hand, the owner was present in the cafe at that time. When my friend accidentally broke an empty pint glass the waitress asked her to pay for it. When an elderly woman walked into a boutique shoe shop after saving for a decent pair of shoes for a good while, the security guard asked her to leave pointing to her that she would not afford a pair of shoes there. Besides being bitchy shop assistants tend to be very pretentious. And waiters in most cases are way too slow. I'd love to see them working in Dublin restaurants the way they do in Lithuania. They wouldn't be able to keep up with the pace.

* Music in public places. Supermarkets are blasting Tina Turner... Come on! Although I have criticized Irish radio, at least there's no Tina in the supermarkets...

* Too many old cars on the roads. I know they are cheaper, but thinking of he future the government could do something in order to make the society more aware of sustainability and environment. I.e. in Sweden the government is offering a 1000 Euro refund when purchasing an environmental friendly car. Although some producers have increased the cost of such cars by exactly 1000 Euro. Bugger...

* Lunch breaks! Especially if you do a 12 hour shift. A receptionist of a fancy hairdresser has no lunch break (this is as witnessed to me in person). Outrageous!

*Go organic and go small! Although Lithuanian vegetables, berries, fruits and mushrooms smell of what they are and are not polished in order to look more presentable, I miss small organic produce shops. The country is devoured by supermarkets possessing imposing names: AKROPOLIS (after the Greek Acropolis), BIG, MEGA, etc. And although we are an agronomical country, because of these supermarkets we might face a similar future like Ireland when you won't be able to get local tomatoes or potatoes.

*More varieties of beer and wine, please! If you're a fan of Aussie Shiraz, you're screwed. Likewise if you admire Belgian beer. And although Ireland has the highest excise duty in the EU (2.10 Euro for each bottle of wine), I can't understand why wine in Lithuania costs the same as in Ireland. And it is boring in most cases!

*Engaging in reading while using public transport. Although busses in Lithuania (especially in the mornings) are more packed than in Dublin (because they take as many people as fit and by fitting I mean fitting - like cornichons in a jar), even those who manage to get a seat still rarely engage in reading morning paper or a book. Whereas in Dublin, even in a packed Luas or Dart majority of the passengers seem to read. Reading is good for brain exercise! And for learing new things.

* Security staff is for security purposes, not for scaring people off. They are scary in Lithuania, believe me. Like freaking Gestapo.

For those who changed their mind and don't want to visit Lithuania ever, please look up at the photos posted above :)