Almost a hundred years ago James Joyce described Dublin as dear and dirty. Despite a pioneering levy on plastic bags introduced six years ago (of which some of the customers in my shop still seem to be unaware) Irish capital is suffering from chronic littering problem.
The government reports that the 22 cent we pay for each plastic bag help to finance local environmental projects such as recycling facilities. Recycling is great and many Irish are more aware of it than the people of Lithuania. After a recent chat about sustainable energy with my 14-year-old niece who had been living in Ireland for the past 8 years, I had to admit that when I was of her age, I knew much less about those issues.
In addition to a gradually increasing plastic bag levy, as of July Ireland is introducing a new emission-based vehicle taxation system and soon we will have to replace traditional bulbs with low-energy ones in the country's pursuit to be as green as possible.
The initiatives leave many countries behind. Yet despite them there is one thing I've learned as a kid and after visiting other European cities it seems that many Europeans have learnt the lesson as well, while Dubliners still seem to be struggling with it. That is even if you pay for plastic bags and drive an emission-free car, you should put the litter in the bins provided.
Last autumn it was revealed that Dublin had the most litter on its streets when compared with nine other major European cities, including Riga, Vienna, Strasbourg, Cologne, Barcelona, Copenhagen, Zurich, Stockholm and Amsterdam. I have visited four of them and I must say the survey proves what I have seen. After cigarette butts, food-related litter, packaging litter and paper litter are the largest categories of environmental littering in Ireland. Last year the Department of Environment announced that almost a million Euro will be given to local authorities for anti-litter public education and awareness initiatives.
When I leave my house in D8 I have to walk for about three minutes before I find a bin. I've done the calculation. There is no bin in my bus stop and neither there is any on the one where I catch my bus after work. There are plenty of cigarette butts around both, though. So what do you do if you are not super green and don't want to carry a sticky wrapping paper from your "Cornetto" in a bag? You let it slip out of your hand as if by accident and quietly continue to move on along the street...
Don't get me wrong - Irish seem to quite happily participate in various anti-litter campaigns, even though two years ago they were the biggest waste producers in the EU, with the average Irish person producing about 869 kg of rubbish per year - twice more than the Finns do (I seem to have lost the link to this fact, will try to find it). Last year over 398,000 volunteers participated in the National Spring Clean campaign, aiming to involve as many Irish as possible in various cleanup events in a period of one month. It is reported that 3880 tonnes of litter was collected, which is about 10kg per head. Impressive, isn't it? That is until you consider a recent campaign in Estonia.
This spring two Estonian internet entrepreneurs organised a nationwide clean-up day called "Let's do it!" Using cutting-edge IT technology, illegal garbage dumps and their photographs were mapped out on Google Earth. On the 3rd of May about 50,000 Estonians - about 3 percent of the population - hit the roadsides, forests and public areas. Over 6000 tons of illegal waste was collected or 120kg per head - twelve times more than the Irish did. Yet, as the spokesperson for the cleanup campaign said, the aim was not just to clean the fields and forests. "We also wish to kind of clean the brains of those people who have left that garbage", she said.
Maybe it was the fact that the cleanup happened in a day, or maybe it was the innovative software that allowed to see the pictures of the garbage and the real-time progress of the campaign. So how about if a million Euro given to the local Irish authorities for anti-litter public education and awareness initiatives is used to supply more bins in Dublin and hire a few Estonian internet gurus?
Actually, after Estonians announced about the campaign in February, ever ambitious Lithuanians rushed to organise a similar one on the same day. Yet they only had four weeks to prepare and only 3,500 out of 5,000 registered participants showed up on the day. If Ireland plans better, the Emerald Isle and its capital could indeed be greener. And a bit dearer.
PS Sorry for a month of silence :)
Just like the Irish claim that Guinness doesn't taste the same anywhere outside Ireland (and I've been assured more than once, because, apparently it doesn't travel), Japanese get parcels with miso soup and noodles posted by their mothers (Yamamori or Wagamama do not serve Japanese food), there are a few Lithuanian specialties that I have a longing for. Although as time goes by, I discover that Polish, Belorussians or Latvians claim that those specialties are in fact theirs. After all, in the 14th century Lithuania ruled Belarus (the orange is Lithuania stretching from the Baltic to the Black sea!) and then Polish ruled us and what was ours became theirs and v.v. Eastern Europe became a concoction of local cultures. No wonder Irish or English can't tell the difference between Polish and Lithuanians. Neither can I sometimes - apart from the language.
The other day I was dashing to a local Polish shop called "Samo Dobro" (Only The Best) for some twaróg which in Lithuania we call VARŠKĖ [think varshkay]. It bears some resemblance to cottage cheese (although I haven't seen Irish ever buying it), but is less salty and usually comes in one lump rather than small bits similar to, excuse me, hamster feces. Back to food :)
I entered the shop.
Dzień Dobry, said quite a pleasant guy behind the counter and I stuttered Hello. I do understand some Polish, can utter a few words, but I don't speak Polish.
I headed for twaróg section, took one and went back to the counter.
Jeden pięćdziesiąt pięć or something along those lines came out of his mouth and I could figure out it is less than two Euro. I gave him the money. He gave me the change, said dziekuje. Thanks very much, I replied to that. Do widzenia he said. Good bye, I responded.
It was a all a bit like in Jim Jarmusch's movie Down by Law where Roberto Benigni's character, an Italian tourist with zero English, is is yelling I scream you scream we all scream for ice-cream to a bunch of Americans sharing a prison cell with him in Orleans Parish Prison.
It is possible the guy could have taken me for a Polish refusing to speak Polish. But I only came for some twaróg . A Lithuanian specialty in a Polish shop.
As I was watching "Jasminum" in the IFI yesterday, millions of Poles in Poland and thousands here, in Ireland, were casting their votes in a life-and-death parliamentary election. A number of them were queuing besides the embassy of Poland in Ballsbridge for more than three hours. Rumor has it that some even borrowed children from the couples who had already cast their vote in order to avoid the queue. Some say the voting in the embassy didn't finish until after midnight.
Yet despite the fact that the voting procedure was not organized thoroughly and although only 21,000 Poles out of 63,000 living in Ireland (that is officially, although few doubt there are at least a couple of hundred thousand) registered to vote (14,000 in Dublin, with over 3,000 in Cork and Limerick each), Poland's liberal opposition defeated the Kaczynski twin tandem. WE WON!!!! :-D 44-31!!!! may go back to my country!!! - texted a Polish friend of mine yesterday, at around 11pm.
It looks like Poles had enough of former child film stars. During two years in power (Lech Kaczynski, the president, does not face an election until 2010), the conservative Kaczynskis have constantly tumbled into quarrels with the EU partners. Gay people started to flee Poland in fear of possible prosecution.
With 99% of votes counted, Donald Tusk's pro-EU party received more than 41% of the votes, while Mr Kaczynski's Law and Justice (PiS) got about 32%. Turnout was the highest recorded in Poland since communism fell in 1989 - 53,79%.
After the first results were announced, Mr Tusk expressed his gratitude to emigrants, because about 70 percent of them voted in favor of pro-western opposition. It looks like the campaigning before the election has paid off. More than 175,000 Poles registered to vote abroad in Sunday's election, well over three times as many as for the last ballot in 2005, official figures showed. In Britain and Ireland alone over 68,000 registered to vote. Some 31,000 registered in the United States.
Tusk's Civic Platform has promised lower taxes and a more business-friendly administration with closer ties to Europe. Poland certainly needs that.
Let's hope that this is the the end of Twin Peaks (as my Polish friend calls it) in Rzeczpospolita Polska. And hopefully Civil Platform will not take over the baton from other promising Eastern/Central European parties who after managing to come out on top in the elections failed to find dialogue within their team and with their political allies. Think Ukraine. Think Lithuania.
✌
Back from Lusitania. Things Lithuanians could learn from the Irish. Part II
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Apologies for delay in updating the blog. Few amazing things happened in the meantime:
- I am starting a Photography and Digital Imaging Course at the Centre for Continuing Education in Art and Design in the National College of Art and Design. They've got my money and the birth certificate (which came as a big surprise for me - the passport is not not good! I was even tempted not to translate the certificate (which is in Lithuanian and Russian). A look at the certificate has reminded me that I was born in Lithuanian Soviet Socialist Republic. But if they need it...)
- "Guardian Abroad" has listed my blog in "Global diatribes and politics" category. It took about a month of waiting after applying, meanwhile I was trying to update my rantings regularly. I can take some time off now:) Joking. The pressure is high to remain in the category.
By the way, exactly 6 days ago my Lithuanian blog celebrated it's first birthday. A virtual friend of mine Aunty Sigita has compared blogger's mission to that of actor's described by Stanislavsky as public loneliness. As time goes by and more people discover my musings in cyberspace I have to admit I start to feel more public than lonely. Here's to my ego :) And here's to you who read and comment and keep the ego thriving!
Now back to to-do-list which was scribbled before I left for holidays in Lithuania or Lusitania as a young charming Irish fella working with me calls my home country. I can tick all segments and if I could choose two best they would be:
- Three days here:
and here
and here
- The Opening Concert of Lithuanian State Symphony Orchestra's Season. Violinist Liana Isakadze performed D. Shostakovich’s Violin Concerto No1. while piano virtuoso Konstantin Scherbakov (he's much hotter live than in his website) was my favorite of the night and played P. Tchaikovky’s Piano Concerto No1. Lots of fireworks (perhaps not as many as in Lang Lang's perfomance), as one should expect from Tchaikovky, but the dialogue between the pianist and the orchestra was magnificent. Whenever I hear a symphony orchestra playing, it always sends shivers down my spine. Although I would have preferred something different to Tchaikovky... My sister calls him a storm in a cup of tea. By the way, speaking of Lang Lang, he's coming to Dublin, yet alas for no particular reason I am unable to book tickets (5 months beforehand!) on National Concert Hall's website. Have emailed them about the problem. I know Lang Lang is quite "fireworky" and different to the likes of Andrius Zlabys whom by luck I managed to meet and hear while living in Philly (listen to the recordings he has on the website or watch him here if you want). No fireworks, I should say. Yet Andrius (who also comes from Lithuania) is not coming to Dublin, but Lang Lang is and after hearing him in the "Painted Veil" I loved the Chinese melodies he was performing.
Sorry for being carried away with the last passage...
Anyhow. I'm back from Lusitania and without two pennies to rub together (payday is in a week). After all Lithuania nowadays is not that different to Ireland - everybody talks about property and building sites are mushrooming everywhere. Although there are things my fellow citizens could learn from the Irish:
* Manners. When you shop in "Dunnes Stores" you say sorry if you bump into somebody. If you shop in Lithuanian supermarkets you say nothing, you bump again. And again. Until the person you're bumping into realizes he or she has to move. After he or she does you say nothing and carry on shopping. Similar manners in public transport (although it arrives on time unlike in Ireland and the timetables announce the time of the arrival to a particular stop rather than the time when the bus leaves the first stop).
* Customer service. I was surprised when after complaining that the wine I got served in a glass was corked the waitress replaced it. On the other hand, the owner was present in the cafe at that time. When my friend accidentally broke an empty pint glass the waitress asked her to pay for it. When an elderly woman walked into a boutique shoe shop after saving for a decent pair of shoes for a good while, the security guard asked her to leave pointing to her that she would not afford a pair of shoes there. Besides being bitchy shop assistants tend to be very pretentious. And waiters in most cases are way too slow. I'd love to see them working in Dublin restaurants the way they do in Lithuania. They wouldn't be able to keep up with the pace.
* Music in public places. Supermarkets are blasting Tina Turner... Come on! Although I have criticized Irish radio, at least there's no Tina in the supermarkets...
* Too many old cars on the roads. I know they are cheaper, but thinking of he future the government could do something in order to make the society more aware of sustainability and environment. I.e. in Sweden the government is offering a 1000 Euro refund when purchasing an environmental friendly car. Although some producers have increased the cost of such cars by exactly 1000 Euro. Bugger...
* Lunch breaks! Especially if you do a 12 hour shift. A receptionist of a fancy hairdresser has no lunch break (this is as witnessed to me in person). Outrageous!
*Go organic and go small! Although Lithuanian vegetables, berries, fruits and mushrooms smell of what they are and are not polished in order to look more presentable, I miss small organic produce shops. The country is devoured by supermarkets possessing imposing names: AKROPOLIS (after the Greek Acropolis), BIG, MEGA, etc. And although we are an agronomical country, because of these supermarkets we might face a similar future like Ireland when you won't be able to get local tomatoes or potatoes.
*More varieties of beer and wine, please! If you're a fan of Aussie Shiraz, you're screwed. Likewise if you admire Belgian beer. And although Ireland has the highest excise duty in the EU (2.10 Euro for each bottle of wine), I can't understand why wine in Lithuania costs the same as in Ireland. And it is boring in most cases!
*Engaging in reading while using public transport. Although busses in Lithuania (especially in the mornings) are more packed than in Dublin (because they take as many people as fit and by fitting I mean fitting - like cornichons in a jar), even those who manage to get a seat still rarely engage in reading morning paper or a book. Whereas in Dublin, even in a packed Luas or Dart majority of the passengers seem to read. Reading is good for brain exercise! And for learing new things.
* Security staff is for security purposes, not for scaring people off. They are scary in Lithuania, believe me. Like freaking Gestapo.
For those who changed their mind and don't want to visit Lithuania ever, please look up at the photos posted above :)
Since it looks like Sean Moncrieff (I still find his voice very unradio) is on holidays, the air belongs to Adele King aka Twink aka a woman behind this. Well, you Irish should know this story well enough, I only learned about the "you fat, bald middle aged dickhead" phonecall yesterday.
Despite all the feelings we might have for the woman, on a Friday afternoon, as I was buying a baguette, a tomato and "Magnum" ice cream in the "Spar" next door, I happened to overhear that they are talking about Lithuanian beer in "MOVIES AND BOOZE SLOT". As a matter of fact, even two of them - "Švyturys" [pronounce a la Shveatoorease] and "Utenos" [pronounced rather like Ootenos than Youtenos].
I have no idea how they pick the booze to be reviewed. Needless to say, I was delighted... For those who are not familiar - the beers above are similar to a good German lager. Proper beer as I say :) Let's say Pilsner vs Miller or Heineken vs Coors. You get the idea...
As far as I know, "O'Briens" stocks some of these, otherwise you can find it in "Whealans' Off Licence" and obviously in Lithuanian or Polish shops in town. The only drawback in the latter shops - the sales people there don't seem to be very friendly... On the other hand, when you have so many nationalities coming to a shop like this it is puzzling to pick a greeting or a farewell in a right language...
PS
It is time for Twink to look up at the map of Europe - "Staropramen" is not a Czechoslovakian beer. This country does not exist as of 1st January 1993. "Staropramen" is Czech.
Emigration/Immigration is like the army. You start off as a private x and if you happen to get into the right circumstances, if you have balls to take advantage of them and if Ms Success becomes your best friend, you can even advance to becoming a general. Even the president of Lithuania Mr Valdas Adamkus started off in the USA as a blue collar worker in a Chicago factory of car parts.
Once you emigrate life starts evolving in certain phases:
* Workaholism
* Wanking
* Musing (in other words meditations on either to come back home or find a "real" job)
* Rebellion (when you knock on every door possible desperate to get that "real" job)
* Desperation (when you realize nobody is going to welcome you with hands wide open)
* Stubborness (when you persist and finally decide to go to study despite the fact you think you already know everything, but you realize this is to become your major trump card in a competitive labour market)
* etc,
* etc,
* etc,
until a possible "happy end".
Some of us get stuck in the phase of workaholism, others progress in wanking, only some of us reach the critical point of rebellion and only a handful make it through the phase of desperation. Obviously if nappies get in your way life takes a U turn. And the phase of musing is destined to repeat now and again.
There is a relatively new website in Lithuania that calls itself Lithuanian journalists' website (despite the fact it omits the largest online news magazine in the country in its links). A recent debate on the website was brought to my attention by a good virtual friend of mine who is also the author of one of the best Lithuanian blogs (and I am really looking forward to an English one - damn our ancient language).
Anyway. The point of the debate was whether journalists who have emigrated and possibly are picking strawberries in UK farms should still be called journalists or not.
You see, in my country journalists are playing gods since people stopped believing in the state, government or Parliament. The most recent Eurobarometer polls reflect that 79 percent of Lithuanians don't trust the Parliament (as opposed to the average of 43 percent in the EU), 67 percent don't trust the Government (as opposed to the average of 53 in the EU). On the other hand the level of trust in the mass media is way larger than that of the average EU citizen.
As a result a tag "journalist" is highly influential. Many get the taste of domination and manipulation with public opinion while still in their 20s. Some are not 30 yet but they've already tried pretty much every single kind of media in the country, they've worked in all major newspapers, TV stations and radio (the joys of young democracy - diversity, or perhaps as the saying goes we're jacks of all trades yet masters of none). And in a country where the main language is a language spoken by a mere 3 mln people this can become an issue if you aspire to be more than a jack of all trades. Thus some pack their suitcases and leave. Of course if we were an English speaking country (like UK, the USA or Ireland) hordes of us would be flooding the BBC, the Guardian, Sky News and the likes. But alas, it is not easy to become a journalist in a foreign country. What's left is strawberry fields, wine shops and white table cloths. And once you start in that stage it is up to you if you want to move up the ladder. But that is the advantage of Western countries - an opportunity to start everything all over again.
Perhaps I am young and dumb, but I admire the so called "American dream" stories. After all even the father of American press journalism Joseph Pulitzer came to the USA without much English and spend many hours in the library in front of the dictionary before revolutionising The New York World.
Poland has introduced cheaper visas to attract workers from neighbouring countries in an attempt to replace Poles emigrating to Western Europe. Nationals of Russia, Belarus and Ukraine will be able to work in Poland for up to three months, twice a year. According to BBC, Poland's economy is enjoying a boom, but is suffering labour shortages since more than a million Poles have left for EU states, notably the UK and Ireland.
The shortages are so acute, the authorities have even considered using soldiers and prisoners to help build the infrastructure.
Personally I don't believe a million has emigrated, the figure must be at least a few times bigger - have a look around Dublin. Polish ads in the newspapers, in the bus stops, zapraszamy (welcome in Polish) on the hairdressers, etc. Anyway. Anybody intrested in 233 euro minimum salary please apply.
By the way, my country has been considering a similar measure, yet apart from even smaller minimum salary - 202 euro (minus flat 27 percent income tax, which should be decreased to 24 as of 1st of Janurary 2008), foreigners might have to face xenophobia.
A comment on the largest news web site in Lithuania DELFI on a story about how difficult Lithuanian language might turn out to be for foreigners:
"Asians have started to flood our country yet, bombs in the market are about to start exploding".
The comments are not reviewed a priori and the website is greatly cooperative with institutions such as Attorney General and police in helping to disclose authors of such comments, yet anonymity is like a fig tree leaf that helps to spit out all kinds of intolerant thoughts and conceal your identity at the same time. And comments like the one above unfortunately are quite common on the stories about immigration. Freedom of speach unveils impotency of mind to adjust to the world evolving.
Random ideas about how to get a job: painful details you should exclude in your CV and facts you must stress
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Ok. You have your suitcase packed. You've just had an appointment with a dentist (this will keep you going for half a year until you come back). You're sporting a new pair of shiny glasses and a new haircut. Passport and ticket in your pocket.
"Now what?", they ask you before you get on the plane. "What will you do for a living over there?"
It all kicks off with a CV.
Your name.
Skip the letters that don't belong to the local alphabet. Abbreviate your last name. Modify the first one. Become another Paddy, John or Amy. Who cares about the name anyway?
Work experience.
It must be relevant to the position you are applying for. Don't expect anything posh. Miracles don't happen in a day. Otherwise half of the more than average journalists you know from home would be applying for jobs in BBC. PR people would be knocking on the doors of those who partake in making something like this and finance analysts would be doing anything to get in HSBC or the likes.
Perhaps the best ones might even turn out to be lucky. Yet few even try - many choose rather to become local celebrities than international mediocrities. Thus we have 30-year-old journalists who act like gods, love to pose for local celebrity photographers and drive new BMWs. The result - our TV stations tend to focus barely on cheap reality TV shows (they sell) and our reporters can't afford to research for a story for a month (actually, it is the editors and the bookkeepers who can't afford it). Journalists get wasted with MPs, editors go to Majorca with those who advertise on the front page and reality TV shows produce journalists. On the other hand who cares about good quality media? Prime time is given to crime investigations anyway.
Back to the CV.
Since you're not applying for a job in RTE or "Irish Independent" and only want to get those alluring 8.65/hour voila you state your relevant experience. Your summer in the USA and the tables you've waited over there, places you used to go to for a pint back home (nobody examines the facts in your CV anyway) and a few months of experience of making latte in some Dublin cafe.
If you are a bloke you go into construction - they make more than the minimum wage (so ***ing sexist) or into IT if you have any idea about PCs (***ing computer geeks).
You might include the fact you've been working as a news editor for the largeset news portal in the country (a sort of Lithuanian BBC). But it was not in Ireland so who should care?
There's little point to mention a couple of months spent in the national radio as a reporter either. It was not RTE anyway. Besides you're not applying for a reporter's position (although you might consider it later).
Education
Don't bother with subjects taken, just mention having received the degree. In any case nobody knows your university.
Hobbies and other details worth or not mentioning
Make sure your contact phone number is on the very top of the page, bright and clear.
God forbid don't put your photo on the CV (an especially common trend among Eastern Europeans).
For Christ's sake skip "traveling" or "taking pictures" - it sounds so dull. Worth mentioning yoga.
If by the time you hand in the CV you can have a basic conversation with the manager of x cafe in English, it is magic! Don't give up if nobody has called you, print lots of copies and knock on many doors. It is nearly impossible to fail in this economic boom.
After a couple of years you might even chance to apply for a more demanding job - in order for the local celebrities you have left back home not to call you a failure. Perhaps you could even turn out to become an international mediocrity after all...
If above these lines you see an ad of sexy Baltic girls this is the reason why I've been hesitant about launching AdSense.
This also backs my opinion that women so far have been the best export in Lithuania. No wonder sometimes I prefer not to reveal the country of my origin.
On the other hand if you like 90x60x90 blonds go on - click on the links! You might find the love your life, I might earn some cash. We'll see if AdSense turns out to be a leprechaun after all.
Once upon a time somewhere in the deep suburbia of Ukraine lived baba. Baba was producing homemade vodka, widely also known as moonshine. Then a tourist from the United States of America came along. Thus a video on You Tube appeared. Somebody in "Decanter" stumbled across it and that's how I discovered the recipe for Ukrainian vodka:
3 buckets of water
3 to 5 kilos of sugar (depending on the taste expected)
0.5 kilo of yeast
A couple of old pots, a pipe, old pair of knickers, rags, stove and coals also needed. Couldn't figure out the rest. Perhaps you might.
On the 19th of June 2007 the European Parliament has voted down a bid by MEPs from Poland, Finland, the Baltic states, Sweden and Denmark to tighten the legal definition of vodka. The so-called "vodka belt" countries wanted to restrict the term to spirits made only from potatoes or grain. But a majority of MEPs voted in favour of a looser definition. According to BBC, vodka made from anything other than potatoes or grain will have to say so on the label yet it can keep the name "vodka" on it.
For those who come from countries mentioned above this was basically a battle for copyright. Just like Champagne has to be made in Champagne and Cognac - in the region of Cognac. Otherwise pleae be kind to use the name sparkling wine or brandy.
Despite loosing this battle Lithuania has to face another one now and it is a question of whether the politicians will have the guts needed to confront conservatives (by this I don't mean just political movement). I am talking about the legalization of homemade vodka which would include legal measures to control the quality of the production, making sure it is made in a more civilized way than "baba's pot". Just like whisk(e)y - once illegally mass-produced on such a scale that in 1820s as many as 14,000 illicit stills were being confiscated every year today it is one of the best-known Scottish exports. And boy, some of them are delicious...
Lobbyists who are pushing the legalization of homemade vodka in Lithuania claim this could become a huge attraction to foreigners, especially those interested in countryside tourism. The levels of production would be controlled, so would be the quality. Some believe this could help to decrease the rate of alcoholism in the country. Besides, the likes of baba would probably have to improve the sanitation.
On the other hand, what could be better after a day of swimming in the lake, fishing and horse riding than a dram of top quality homemade vodka with some Lithuanian charcuterie, rye bread and pickles? Old people say if it's well made you would drink a bottle and wake up the following morning fresh as a daisy. Forget "Smirnoff" or "Huzzar".
They became famous after a show in "Pizdetz" (the most accurate translation of this Russian expression would be "cunt kaput") - an after-hours club on Ridge Street in New York. The members of the band are from Ukraine, Sachalin, Israel, Moscow and California. I heard them for the first time when a colleague of mine had brought their CD to work and I was overjoyed - for the first time ever I could understand the lyrics better than he (English) did. From the background of thundering drums, banging fire buckets, violins and accordions stories emerged - uttered with a distinctive Slavic accent and interwoven with Russian jokes and exclamations. Thus my encounter with "Gogol Bordello" began.
The front man of the group (or phenomenon if you like), its founder and and soul Eugene Hütz (Євгени Худз) as "Guardian" says has called his band "an orchestra of fucking immigrants, jamming in A minor".Their lyrics are obscene, they give out to everyone - homo sovieticus, West, Europe, pop culture, the system, immigration officers. E. Hütz looks like a an outlaw himself - franticly spinning on the stage half naked and with a distinctive mustache. Their music is everything but easy-listening and E. Hütz roars with a creaking voice every single song as if it was a confession born in the darkest corner of the soul in the middle of the night while sitting besides a campfire and cracking a couple of bottles of vodka. Their music, the so called "gypsy punk", has won admirers all over the United States and recently thousands of music fans were madly jumping with their wellies in the mud of Glastonbury to its rythm.
To get the lyrics
"aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiget down here as a cheap labor force but i beat the system everywhere i goes"
is tough and I have my reservations - I doubt that because of them thousands are going crazy - it is the image of "Gogol Bordello" that puts a spell on you first. Yet behind it remarkably accurate and intense words are concealed - emerging from personal experiences - firstly those of E. Hütz, who had left Ukraine with his parents following the Chernobyl nuclear accident, and those of other members of the band who are now partying together on the other side of the Atlantic after achieving their "American dream" .
There you go critics of emigration - another example of immigrants not only wiping Westerners' asses as you like to stress so often, but kicking them too.
PS
Apparently Madona is known to be a huge fan of "Gogol Bordello", she even invited the guys to join her on stage on 07 07 07 for "Live Earth" gig in London, where she was stamping to their fiddle (or so a similar Russian saying goes).
In a small country tiny signs of acknowledgement turn into moments of triumph. For instance the fact that Ozzy Osbourne wears Lithuanian Basketball Team's T-shirt with his name on it during a gig in Vilnius. 
Photo by R.Neverbickas
Ozzy is not the only celebrity who happened to come home from Lithuania with a new T-Shirt. Princess Máxima of the Netherlands got one and so did the United States Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. 
Photo by ELTA
We realize that these VIPs won't bother wearing them once they get back, yet naively hope that perhaps BBC or CNN have noticed...
Dr. Lecter and sharp-toothed Lithuanians
Lithuania is smaller than the Republic of Ireland, bigger than the Netherlands and the population is about the same as in the city of Madrid. No wonder we are so sensitive to whatever foreigners state about us or our country - be it Mel Gibson infamously calling Lithuanians "sharp-toothed" and "armed with baseball bats" or Jonathan Franzen, depicting Lithuania in his "Corrections" as hell where there is a shortage of coals and electricity and the people have to eat horses in order to stay alive. Actually before watching "Hostel" I was saying my prayers and hoping it is not about Lithuania (yes, it was Slovak Republic!). Although Dr. Lecter turned out to be from my country...
One can hate Mr Thomas Harris, but I have to admit that we did enter history as a savage country. In 2009 we will be celebrating the Millennium since the historical mention of Lithuania and the story is frightening:
"In 1009 saint Brunon <...>, an archbishop and a monk,<...> on the border of Russia and Lithuania was knocked down by non-Christian pagans and on the 23rd of February with 18 fellow travelers departed to heaven." (German Quedlinburg Annals a)
“We are a nation that was formed out of barbarians, nomads and peasants. And our mixed genes are the reason for Lithuanian nostalgia and individualism”, - a few years ago stated Gintaras Beresnevicius, a Vilnius University professor at the Ethnology and Folklore Department, in “Creation of the Empire. The Blueprint for Lithuanian Ideology”. Ironically, he passed away last year after being taken from a party in a police car. Investigation has proved that the injuries later discovered on his body had nothing to do with policemen. Although one witness claimed to have seen them putting Mr Beresnevicius into boot used for transporting animals... Mr Beresnevicius was considered as one of the most prominent historians of religions specializing in Baltic mythology.
Ignorant Westerners or indifferent politicians?
Have you got electricity? Is the war over yet? Do you speak Russian there? These and similar questions myself, my friends and many other Lithuanians who live abroad have to face on a daily basis. Yes, we do have electricity. As a matter of fact Ignalina Nuclear Power Plant produces way too much of it. The war? You probably mixed up Baltics with Balkans. And yes, quite a few people still speak Russian, especially in the capital, although younger kids are fluent in English and could hardly understand any Russian. Yet the main language is Lithuanian - one of the oldest in Europe, similar only to Latvian and we managed to preserve it despite being on the crossroads of civilizations.
Some Lithuanians accuse foreigners of ignorance when they ask questions like the ones above. When my dad was a teenager he could name the capitals of all African countries. For decades the only way people of the Eastern Block could learn about the world was by looking at the maps. We didn't have "National Geographic" or "Discovery". Perhaps this is one of the reasons why people from former Soviet Union have great knowledge of geography. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I buy "National Geographic" - I still enjoy looking at the maps and reading about the world.
Although I do agree that sometimes Westerners' indifference to the rest of the world is the case, in my opinion, the main reason why Lithuania is not so well known in the world or is more known from a rather unpleasant and negative point of view (corruption, suicides, alcoholism, crime) is because the country is not being branded in a proper way.
Christian Caryl's story in "Newsweek" last month should be read by everybody who struggles to come up with the best idea for branding Lithuania yet it stresses that first of all local people shape the identity of a country.
"In the end it's the Italian people who brand Italy, and they do it so damn well," says Simon Anholt, founder of the National Brands Index, in the story. "And the countries that haven't quite succeeded at that are the countries that don't quite love themselves."
Love you, love you not
Lithuanians' relationship with Lithuania is a love-and-hate story.
We become ecstatic to the point of madness when we get gold in the Olympics (I recall three so far - correct me if I am wrong). Yet the best of our sportsmen and sportswomen have to go abroad to train since there are no proper facilities in Lithuania.
When a Lithuanian documentary film director Arunas Matelis receives Directors’ Guild of America award in the documentary category we proudly remind to the world and ourselves that he's from the same country as us yet quietly whisper to the neighbor "Who is that Matelis?" (request for the Ministry of Culture - could Lithuania's movie industry be supported at least as much as Kaunas Zoo?)
Lithuania is famous for classical music performers - soprano Violeta Urmana, conductor Saulius Sondeckis - although the latter after tensions in Lithuanian music arena decided to shift his career and rather perform in Germany, Russia or Austria.
Our politicians proudly point out that a Lithuanian is in charge of the gargantuan budget of the European Union (Finance and budget commissioner Ms Dalia Grybauskaite) yet dismiss her when she's constantly criticizing Lithuania's finance policy.
We rave to be presented on BBC or CNN as a country of tranquil beauty yet after two weeks of showing our 30 second long ad during prime time on BBC a few Lithuanian politicians expressed a view that it was wrong to choose BBC without a public competition. Darlings, if there is a chance to be broadcasted on BBC, forget competitions! Or perhaps, as somebody pointed, our politicians would have been more delighted if the ad was broadcasted on Russian TV? Forget the West, let's go back East!
Lack of good policies
"The best way for a country to generate a good image is not by conducting clever ad campaigns, but by implementing good policies," writes Christian Caryl in "Newsweek". "The most important thing is to tell the truth," stresses Mr Anholt in the story mentioned above.
So what is the truth about Lithuania and Lithuanians? How different is it from Latvia, Slovenia or Poland?
Recent survey conducted by Vytautas Magnum University and Institute for Social Studies has proved that Lithuanians firstly consider themselves as jealous, hardworking and hospitable. Yet more than a third of respondents pointed the fact that we are reserved.
My landlord (an old Irishman) keeps stressing that we are hardworking. Jealousy, I believe, we will get rid of once the salaries increase. Yet the main challenge is to stop being reserved since there are things in Lithuania of which the world should hear.
"It is only the material things that matter in Lithuania - construction, roads," a while ago emphasized documentary director Arunas Matelis. Despite winning the Directors’ Guild of America award he's still waiting for state funds to subtitle the movie. Good policies, huh?
Last year I publicly criticized the Embassy of Lithuania in Ireland for ignorance and lack of initiative in representing Lithuania in the Emerald Isle. Despite the fact that there might be over 100 000 Lithuanians in Ireland cultural events that would try to reach out non-Lithuanian audiences are scarce. We did not participate in the largest celebration of cultures in Ireland Dun Laoghaire Festival of World Cultures last year (there was only a few Lithuanians with ethnic costumes). Unfortunately the embassy did nothing this year as well therefore myself and a few friends are trying to do something about it. Yet it is a shame that an institution who is responsible for representing our culture abroad (and this should be one of the priorities, especially now that there are so many of us here) is passive.
When I was in school studies of foreign relations was considered as one of the most attractive subjects one could study. Quite a few of us were dreaming of working as ambassadors. Is it because once you become one you can lay back in a rocking chair, smoke a cigar and drink mohitos realizing that Lithuania is far away and you don't give a **** about your job? At the end of the day, why should Ozzy Osbourne, Condoleeza Rice, Dr Lecter or Mel Gibson do PR for Lithuania?
On the other hand there are some good signs - more video clips like the one on BBC and this one about Vilnius. Yet foreign broadcasters can't substitute the indifference of Lithuanian clerks. Last year the government approved the strategy of Lithuania's image, it's implementation was supposed to kick off this year, yet nothing has been done so far. Any VIPs to volunteer for another T-shirt?
Post Scriptum
By the way, this is Lithuania. Media is about manipulation, yet this video is close to reality. Welcome to Lithuania or actually Vilnius - which is my home city.
Forget Catholicism - basketball is the official religion in Lithuania. Besides, we were the last in Europe to be baptized - barely in 1387. Yet one could be totally ignorant of basketball and one will be forgiven. The worst heresy of nowadays is to be an emigrant.
A beautiful yet painful journey towards new beginning
On the 23rd of August 1989, less than three months before the fall of the Berlin Wall, the people of Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia - three tiny Baltic countries with a total population of about 8 million - joined their hands to form an over 600 kilometer long human chain across the three Baltic states.
About 2 million people joined their hands in this completely peaceful protest. Demonstrators linked hands for 15 minutes at 7 p.m. local time. 
Baltic Way. Photo by Z. Kazėnas
This demonstration was organized to draw the world's attention to the common historical fate which these three countries suffered. It marked the 50th anniversary of August 23, 1939 when Soviet Union and Germany in the secret protocol of the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact divided spheres of interest in Eastern Europe which led to the occupation of these three countries. The human chain symbolized the Baltic peoples' solidarity in their struggle for more autonomy and eventual independence from the Soviet Union.
Lithuania - a country of which majority of the people living on the other side of the Berlin Wall have never heard before - was the first Soviet republic to proclaim its renewed independence on March 11, 1990. It took nearly a year for a Western country to recognize Lithuanian independence and the first to send a message of acknowledgment was Island - on the 4th of February, 1991. A month before that the world heard about a Singing Revolution and 14 non-armed protesters who died in Vilnius defending the Vilnius Television Tower and the Parliament from Soviet troops and tanks.
The people were united as never before.
A new foe is facing the country
16 years have passed since those events. With fireworks we proudly joined the prestigious club called the European Union. Our economy is improving, there's more and more building sites rising in the capital Vilnius yet for the past 5 years or so another foe - well-known to the countries like Ireland, Norway, Sweden and Italy - has been threatening the future of the country. Since 1990, around 404,000 people have emigrated, driving the population down from its level of 3.6 million people 16 years ago to its present level of 3.2 million. The number of Lithuanians emigrating has more than doubled since the country joined the EU.
Welcome to the joys of freedom of movement, - I say. Loosers, you were not able to adapt in the changing situation, - say those who have remained in Lithuania.
The people are divided as never before.
Life is improving yet people are moving
Every second Lithuanian has a relative or a friend who have emigrated after the restoration of the independence. According to the survey which was conducted in the beginning of this year for Lithuanian weekly "Veidas", another 13 percent of the population claim that they will be leaving the country shortly. Nearly half of them state that if the salaries were increasing more rapidly the emigration might be stopped. The second most important reason which drives Lithuanians to leave their home country is the attitude of employers and officials towards them.
Minimum monthly salary in Lithuania is 174 Euro a month, average (before taxes, there's a flat 27 percent income tax) - 503 Euro a month. During the past year though average salary has increased by 21 percent. As they say in one Russian propaganda movie - life is getting better, life is getting happier.
Propaganda and accusations
Speaking of propaganda, in the beginning of this year a campaign called "Stay in Lithuania" was launched. It aims to encourage young people to seek better living in Lithuania, not abroad. Ironically, the campaign was not initiated by Lithuanians, but by a Canadian and a Danish. Perhaps there's not too many locals who believe the message? Lithuanian celebrities, businessmen and politicians keep repeating the message "stay", yet more than a third of emigrants are 20-29 years old. Yet these are the official figures, but there those who have never officially stated of going to UK or Ireland for a couple of years. Like myself for instance. In fact I don't even know why should I, since I don't even know how long will I be away for.
This is were I face the impossibility of defining who is an emigrant nowadays. My Oxford American Dictionary defines emigrant as a person who leaves his or her own country in order to settle permanently in another. I don't even know were I want to settle yet. Although probably somewhere sunnier and warmer than Ireland, but with white Christmas, please.
I've been away for two years now. I don't know when will I come back, but I am certain I will. I do not despise Lithuania and now and again I send some money home. Like thousands of other Lithuanians who are working abroad. It's been estimated that last year alone over 300 million Euro where transfered from personal foreign accounts into Lithuanian banks - which would be about 1.2 percent of our GDP. Yet those who are away are blamed for wasting Lithuania's budget - especially the resources that have been invested into our education.
Thus the accusations start to flow: we are not patriotic, we don't care about Lithuania's future or about the future of our children who may not learn to speak Lithuanian, we live or get married to the people of other races than white, etc. As if those who remain were chained to their jobs, friends or lovers like Prometheus to a cliff. A toast to them, a gold medal and a statue!
At the end of the day humans are selfish and pragmatic. That's the reason we try to get better education, better jobs, better living conditions. And if somebody has found this in Ireland or Greenland why should one be despised? At the end of the day - wasn't it this freedom that we were yearning for?
Perhaps it is time to encourage to come back rather than to stay and preferably not only by propaganda means? And remember the days when we were like one fist working for one cause - we could achieve much more this way.
PS
I have been trying to look up for some information on whether other countries who ever had to face emigration had so much hostility towards those who have emigrated. So far I've only come across an attitude sported by the Polish president Mr. Lech Kaczyński calling Polish emigrants in UK and Ireland “born losers” or “feckless”. But he shouldn't be an inspiration!
Deliana had a pale skin and incredibly blond hair. She used to wear a rasta hat and whenever asked she used to say she's from Jamaica. With a slight Eastern European accent. Sometimes she was lucky and even the toughest sceptics would start believing her. In fact she was Bulgarian and had won a green card a while ago. She would assure if somebody was after an honest reply she would definitely tell, but wasn't going to open her heart to everybody. She didn't want to be considered as another girl from Eastern Europe.
I perfectly understand Deliana and whoever has lived abroad should too. Especially girls from Eastern Europe.
A while ago I was strolling the streets of a Jewish quarter in Seville (Spain) with two girls - one from Norway and another from Poland. After getting lost we stopped a passer-by.
Where are you from? - he asked.
Dominica barely mentioned she's from Poland and thus the praises for Eastern Europe and beauties from Czech Republic began to flow. The middle-aged passer-by turned to the Norwegian girl and asked if she's from Poland too. Hilda explained she's Norwegian.
Oh, you're a different story, - said he and I could see disappointment in his face.
Once, after walking into a very dark cul-de-sac in Dublin I came across a sticker saying Eastern European girls looking for fun.
It's no secret that crowds of tourists come to Lithuania thinking it's enough to utter a word in English and the girls will melt like last winter's snow. When in West it is enough to mention the country of my origin and I hear a borat-like reply "Very nice". And somewhere in the back of my head I hear myself finishing his sentence "How much?"
It is true though, Lithuanian girls do tend to dissolve like a spoonful of sugar in a cup of tea without even asking what do those strangers do and what do they like in life - perhaps they are peasants from the most remote of English villages or boring young clerks working in a stuffy London City office and looking for fun and frolics. But look - the girls are already coiling lazily on the dance floor of one of those British pubs we have in Vilnius. There's free fizz flooding and the boys start whispering unheard secrets to them - the girls never got a chance to learn that kind of words in school. It's the body language that helps to communicate...
And one sees our local boys quietly sipping on their pints, but their beer is not smooth anymore, since all the girls care about are foreign boys - they buy the drinks and purchase three red roses from the girl who makes her living selling the flowers in nightclubs. The girl is happy, the lass - giddy and the English boy is stumbling over the words he's txting to the mates back home. Before getting into a cab he takes a leak in front of the Presidential Palace.
And so the story starts to spread about Lithuanian girls looking for fun. As if we would not suite for anything else.
But what should one do if she doesn't wear high-heels, uses lipstick rarely and rather wears pants than skirts? You can say you're from Norway, because you're a different story. Or from Jamaica. But it might be harder to convince...
